Friday, November 21, 2008

Say my name,Say my name,wait.... Dont.

I am beside myself right now. Truly. I don't care about mass commerical pop starlets and their children (except for my beloved Angie) but this is getting down right obnoxious!

"BRONX MOWGLI" is the new Ashlee Simpson baby name. Are you flippin' kidding me?! Does this kid have a shot with his resume in 18 years? Will people take him seriously at high school graduation? Look I realize there will be tons of thousands of spawn with parents that had a lapse in lucid thinking and named their kids such atrocities as "Pilot Inspektor", "Kyd", and "Apple" but those are just celebrity crazy...on some level they get excused because they don't really live in our reality, and most of them will end up in rehab, then in a new clan of panti-less starlets and back to rehab, so it is fitting.

What gets me is how many upstanding well-educated people are naming their kids to the trends. The green-organic smokeless cigar club of elite successful business men will be referring to themselves by saying things like:

"Storm, How are the latest numbers coming in on electromagnetic flypods, are your cornering the market?"

or "Brooklyn and Ridge are teeing off at 9 tomorrow, are you in?"

The children of this decade are going to be thought of similarly to the poor kids of hippie hallucinogens days of "Soleil Moonfry" and "River Pheonix". So goes it, I just think its carving a hard path for your kids. Its difficult enough to be taken seriously with "normally" strange names or extremely ethnic names, but those have substance, meaning, namesake. How do you philosophically validate "Dakota" or "Nevaeh"...great, really? Its "heaven" backwards. PUKE.

Get a grip people. Children are anything BUT a trend. Give them a tiny little boost in a knock-you-down world. Start your kindness by giving them tools to succeed. No matter how much we preach kindness and non-judgement, people do, even if you don't. Go crazy with a nick name, but to bring mockery to the one unique identifier that will stick with them from birth to fair. Be thoughtful and be respectful. Just saying...

If you are itching to make your power and creative mark: Get a dog. Name it "chakra shitball loveeeellly boneboy" or "Kendalllll Cade Karma Makeyyylaa Dom purr on Yum"


Nooter said...

hey c'mon, we mutts dont want goofy names like that. save it for the show dogs or the racing horses ..

and in the backstretch its bronx mowgli by two lengths followed by moon unit and apple of my eye..

dadshouse said...

I actually enjoy hearing creative names of celebs and athletes. JaMarcus Russell is the Raiders QB, and we know him by first name!

That said, when I named my kids, I made sure their first and middle names had family history. My son's middle name, for instance, comes from my grandfather, who, on his 50th wedding anniversay, when siblings and cousins were bickerina and fighting for the right to sit in the seat of honor - right next to him - he picked me! I vowed then and there at the tender age of 9 that my first born son would get my grandpa's middle name.