Conan quits "The Tonight Show" if it slots for 12:05.

AND SO HE SHOULD!!!! What a joke. Conan O'brien has been screwed by the NBC boomer-pleasing executives. Since this has all played out as such, I will no longer pretend that "The Office" hasn't gotten painfully boring and I will only watch the genius of "30 Rock" online or at Hulu.

Conan speaks to a different generation, yes. He is goofy, but I am tired of the noise about how he is too slap-stick or vulgar. He is warm hearted, intelligently funny with a strong pulse on the modern masses of generations, still having an old-TV feel about him. I am disproportionally angry that he moved his life and family and had a pure excitement about the honor of hosting the Tonight Show. Now, its all dispensable? Unbelievable. Think what you want of him, say what you will, but he is innovative, hilarious, and reminds so many of my generation that you can be silly, stupid (even) and still care about politics and the world and the state of affairs in America. It's despicable how so many people who don't bother to watch him, and jump on the band-wagon to say he is "obnoxious" seem to have any valid right to speak about what his show does or does not do.

*sigh* Rant concluded. I will follow you wherever I can Conan. You will be missed if you don't pop up somewhere else wit your lanky limbs and floppy hair. More missed, will be your keen self-awareness when delivering a less-than-par punch line or your honest to goodness conversational gift with the star and starlets of Hollywood. Your famously forward taste in music,Your infectious giggle, and your reactions to a cut from a wacky animal or a swear word slipped in by a guest is reflective of our own geeky prude and acknowledgment in one. You made me laugh so many nights (and mornings- when DVR'd) that I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. Go on you for not being pushed around!

To read Conan's full statement Click Here

SYTYCD?! Kayla and Kupono to Blue Foundation...

Alright, I know...It's been a long time. I had a kid...She's only 3 months old. Cut me some slack. I promise I'm back. To talk about Governors who can't keep their pie holes shut, the death and dying of Icons, my undying love for Conan O'Brien, and other such drivel, but for now...Let's talk dance. So You Think You can Dance specifically....

Last night, July 1st, was the top 14 dancers. They were all pretty fantabulistic. Hot Tamale train ticket screams ensued, Mia Michaels finally gave Brandon some credit after her uber-PMS-twitch fit at auditions and Kayla and Kapono did just wanted I needed: They inspired tears and my deep-seeded(ballet-love) and need to dance. The dance was dark and dreamy. ( I don't love Twighlight...its past my age demo) but...the "Blue Foundation" song took it to a new level. The tone felt more like "Pump up the Volume" vibes for those of you over 25. Take a look for yourself. The choreographer Sonya Tayeh has a beautifully twisted mind.

SO there you have it. My libido is back to normal. This song/dance combo made me want to roll around a lake in blue moon light soaking wet and glistening to the beat of my own homage to teen angst of love, lust and all things polar. Enjoy...Hope it does the same for you!

SKIP to 2:45 for the dance...

Joaquin Phoenix on Late Show w/ David Letterman Feb 11 2009

What the...
I honestly laughed so hard, its not even funny. Typically, Dave is the one creating the akward moments. This was fantastic. Dave was biting his gums during the crowd-pleasing strange pauses. I actually think I have had therapy sessions that looked a bit like this. I imagine first dates not too unlike it either.Good stuff. Joaquin has to be doing a "schtick", or he is strung out on some brain numbing agent. He looks a bit like Charles Manson posing as a blues brother. See for yourself. Hip hop? Really? Enjoy.



Best line from Dave: "...And Joaquin, I'm sorry you couldn't be here tonight."

Come on Billie Piper...Season 2 of Secret Diary of a Call Girl!

I have to admit I stopped watching "Californication" on Showtime, because it got, well...too dirty for me. Seriously. Cocaine and bodily fluids and random sex by accident in the dark at strange parties in the valley just left me wanting to take an acid shower. But! I think SHOWTIME has done it with one of my favorite Cable series: "Secret Diary of a Call Girl" on at 10:30EST Sunday nights.

For one, Billie Piper is adorably smoldering. Her angelic face and in- camera expression leave you empathetic and even fascinated with her layers and duplicity. She somehow walks the balance of sweet girl next door who tripped into a high paying prostitution gig, and the steamy minx we all hope to be inside. (somewhere, with someone).

In Season 2's opener she is said to contemplate a boob job, and I hope to God she decides against it. I love her self-confidence. Her little junky trunk and tiny nose. I'm sure that in another life, with the absence of stigma and STD's, I would ponder the idea of what she does...I'd be damn good at it: Joke, Joke...stroke ego, stroke body, get crazy, detach, smile politely, joke joke, walk away. I actually believe in some episodes she enjoys here job, accepts it. But what well-paid whore wouldn't? Stare at the ceiling and count in your head how many pairs of shoes, or Milly dresses, or vacations you can buy at the end of the 40 minutes. (awe) I bet it would actually be somewhat intellectually stimulating to meet some of the men she meets, but then we get into the marriage/Spitzer/John Edwards debacle, and I just can't think that big..it's much more fun to pretend no one gets hurt.

I'm not this shallow, but in the wee moments of watching such a spicy, dicey dirty show that makes me laugh with the dialogue and throws me a heart-sink with the reality-based emotions of any woman...I get lost in the fantasy of her world. I guess those writers and Billie herself have done something right. At the end of the day I want love, but who doesn't dip there toe in the sheer hedonism of lust, even if vicariously?!

Check your self-righteous thoughts a the door, and open your imagination to the possibility of Belle and her shenanigans. You might find you enjoy it. I do.

Ha cha cha...Belle's back.

Alec Baldwin calls Palin "Bible Spice" on Letterman

It is a well known fact that Alec Baldwin has become a night lover ( in my dreams) of mine. He has all it takes. Witty fast tongue, Over 40(although, he is about at the age cusp of limitations where I draw the line), unapologetic-grab life by the balls-and enjoy it attitude, and he speaks his mind.

Ever since his interview on 60 minutes, which I rewound a few times just to be able to process all his jokes, and catch his societal/political statements, I have been in lust admiration. Last night, he was on David Letterman. I can't help but wonder if his hair do is prepped like that of Cameron Diaz in "Something About Mary". I wont judge. He is cute and pudgy and smart. Love it. Enjoy, I did.



I am jumping in my britches to see him on 30 Rock tonight. Hopefully more people will watch. Why do all the men I love NOT have an upper lip? I don't actually find it attractive, but it seems to be a reoccurring trait. (shoulder shrug) I love his vocabulary. Well used, well placed and self-depricating with four or more syllable words at a time!

Ha cha cha....

It's the little things...Matt Lauer and Al Roker take on Rhythmic gymnastics and ribbon.

I wasn't sure today was going to be such a great day. I was tired, a little crabby and not feeling well. when I woke up. Then, I turned on NBC's TODAY show and saw none other than Matt Lauer and Al Roker preparing to learn Rhythmic gymnastics.

While watching the Canadian Olympic hopeful, Alexandra show off her moves, Matt said to Al: "Are you ready for this? You're going to end up with that thing in your back." Al replied: "Forget this, I should just try Javelin catching." (ha!) Javelin catching!? That was great. KUDOS Al. I usually don't laugh at your jokes...well played. The men were then dressed in red, white and blue unitard contraptions and proceeded to carry through a male-tandem-ribbon-routine. Ahhhh...my morning recovered with some hard laughs.



It takes some real man-up power to wear those outfits, show off your wrist agility, dance in tandem to "Dream Weaver" in front of millions, and most of all (Matt Lauer) to keep a straight face.

Long, slow clap for the two of you. Well done. Thanks for the little laughs that kept on popping up all day!

Jon Hamm in Best Life Magazine. Move over Brad Pitt.

Here here to Missouri boys! You all know I had a crush on Don Draper, AMC's Mad Men superstar. The thing is; he is a character. Dark, calm, tortured, full of secrets and unpredictable whims of his weaknesses(women), surprisingly fair and HOT = Lulu Dreamboat.

I wasn't expecting the real man behind the character to be so damn complex, intriguing and down right affable. Thanks to Joel Stein's self-deprecating and perfectly crafted descriptions of a day spent together, we now get a glimpse into this manly man anti-stereotype. Best Life's John Mather and Joel Stein put together the best friggen snapshot of Jon Hamm. I know they write for men, but this article evokes all kinds of terrible, horrible adulterated wants from a self-respecting mother and wife.

Let's be honest just looking into Jon's deep-set cold green eyes can send a shiver down the spine of the most heterosexual man. His seemingly constant furrowed brow and stubble? That nose makes you take him seriously, and all that hair? Well...I applaud you, Jennifer Westfieldt; you are my new female hero for today, so far. Out of respect for you, Jen, I won't even dive into my minds imagination of what lies beneath those grey three-piece suits. I will stay with my crush on Don, instead of Jon. But can he swim the backstroke? (I digress).

All those genetic gifts and completely superficial attributes are swell. But seriously, I don't really care about looks...C'mon, Bill Murray, not-so-hot vulture financiers, Nigel Lithegow...enough said. What makes Jon Hamm so sexy is his disinterest in trying to be so. He just IS sporty, approachable, confident, aware of others, no stranger to tragic loss, and somehow completely flying below the bullshit radar of those men that are trying too hard...way too hard. You know who you are!

One of the funniest lines in the article was when Stein found out Jon wanted to meet at a golf range. He writes: "The driving range? Is the bull-fighting stadium closed for the day?" As there meeting progresses you can feel the humanity in Jon. He appears to be the kind of man who listens to your story without you telling it. He seems like he would be conscious of your presence beyond what it means to his career or ego.

Far more interesting than his real-guy demeanor debunking the ideal he portrays; is the fact that he plays Don Draper so well by acknowledging how hard that time period was for men, yet somehow keeping the character plausibly a good guy (who does bad things). Up until I started watching Mad Men, I had assumed those were the glory days. Men ruled the world, and everyone was Clever-happy. Jon is quoted in the article saying:

"They were full of shit. They didn't know what they were doing. It makes you look at what that definition of 'being a man' really means and is there a happy medium? Instead of subscribing to this definition of a man or dude or guy, do what you want to do, buy a fucking yellow Mini Cooper. Get over it. It's a fucking fun car to drive. You can do all the other man stuff and be unsatisfied."

Not only does he soothe the Mini-cooper driving dude that was interviewing him, he makes multiple statements about acceptance, self-actualization and non-judgement with two f-bombs and a disarming tone of realism in less than five sentences. I WANT HIM.

Go pick up a copy of the magazine or check out the article when it is posted on BEST LIFE'S WEBSITE.

...and thank you dearly, Joel Stein and John Mather. The rest of August and September will be richer, warmer and steamier now that you have made me laugh and lust after Jon Hamm.

OBAMA-ROLLED!!!

Okay, so someone, somewhere, had more time on their hands than I did this weekend...
Check this out. It is sure to get stuck in your head and make you laugh.

ENJOY!



What did people do for mind-numbing, useless humor before Youtube? Love it.

Anderson Cooper can't stand "Living Lohan"

Last night, my hormones went into overdrive for my favorite white-haired, sardonic, love-munch news caster...ANDERSON COOPER. My side note: His ears, his perfect little pink lips and the confidence he has in himself is almost unbearable.

My only knock against him is that he asked Monday night on AC360: "Who writes in a coffee shop?". Anderson, women who have children, and cannot write at home, and shouldn't write on the job at the office, take their computers to dribble out their best efforts of what could be the next novel, blog post, or love letter TO YOU!!!! Be nice. Meanie. I love meanies like him.

Okay, Erica Hill and Anderson were discussing Coops' disgust with Dina Lohan. They were in full flirty, sarcasm mode and it was perfect. "Erica, Dina Lohan on the phone for you..." Anderson quipped jokingly as she took accountability for calling Dina "Seedy". I know there are big news stories: Chinese Olympics, the Stock Market 300+ point rally, Obama and McCain polls showing a tight race, and this friggen' hooker-pole dancing mother who gave her child to wilder beasts or something, but Anderson Cooper and Erica Hill please me when they get stupid, silly and laugh at the obnoxious nature of our US celebrities. The clip below shows his guest appearence on "Regis and Kelly" where the Dina-bashing began.



I've gotta say, I didnt know he was as dark-humored and bitter as he is. I kind of like it! I know he has exercised his mommy-demons of an overly colorful and open past (that she had) but who knew such a hottie, smart news-man could be so ironical and full of dead-pan delivery. Erica Hill was pretty funny quoting Dina Lohan's comment to OK Magazine saying: "This is bad Karma for him". Erica raised those sexy eyebrows and mocked "Well..you know.....Karma." Good stuff.

Crush on Anderson Cooper reinstated. Move over Erica Hill. I want to suck on his tiny top lip, or grab him by his ears and make him crack jokes about 14 year-olds that look 60 and talk in his raspy female smoker-mom impersonation...

Good things, Good karma, good laughs Anderson. Well played. Happy day.

Billie Piper is piping HOT on "Secret Diary of a Call Girl"

Right. Showtime is taking provocative to whole new heights this season. Californication will make you blush and cackle with laughter in the same breath, but sweet "Belle" in Secret Diary of a Call Girl shows the strange and surprisingly intriguing side of professional whores. The show is based on the true diary of a former London-based call girl.

I will say it now: Human trafficking is heart-wrenching and despicable, hooking in general, is great joke material, but often alienating and life wrecking, but we are dealing in fantasy and soft camera lenses here. So bare with the concept before you get all Nancy Grace on me. The story is of a 27 year old Hannah, whose professional name is "Belle" (played by British actress Billie Piper). The show dives into all sorts of London in a "Sex AND the city" type of way.

A far cry from her pop music attempt and young-marriage to a Chris Evans (He was 35, she was 18), she brings a tangible maturity and aire of self-sufficiency. As the show splits through her two lives, Billie finds a plausible way to infuse the role with both feministic qualities (I shite you not!) and the pain of a secret life.



Her duplicity and ability to compartmentalize is astonishing. She has two closets, two areas of her condo, and everyone of her friends and family believe she is a night-legal secretary. ( to explain the good money and strange hours). Billie has a way of pulling you into her seemingly intimate situations with her affability. She resembles the girl you would have fallen in love with in high school, doing very bad things. She makes frequent eye-contact with the camera, specifically at poignant or quirky moments of her loneliness or a bizarre client request.

Another way the show keeps you interested past the strange sex parties, the man who wanted to be a horse, the moonlighting she does at a hotel while one client is sleeping, threesomes and dominatrix, is her friendship with her ex-boyfriend who is now her best friend. He keeps it real. They jog together,go to her mother's for sunday lunch, discuss marriage, love, sex and life with the casual informality of close friends.

It is certainly not for everyone. If you are a little faint at sexual awkwardness or worse, witnessing complete inhibition, keep watching "Wife Swap" or "TLC". There is something about Billie Piper's body. Not the typical rail-thin model body, she carries an absolute confidence in her small breasts and wide hips, she is stunningly beautiful and somehow...the cutest, most lovable hooker you ever did see.

Take a peek. Be naughty. If nothing else, it is a sure-fire way to spruce up your Monday night. (SHO,Mon: 9:30CST)

Game On! : John Mayer plays on TMZ.

I have never been a huge fan of TMZ. My only exposure has been in the confines of my sister's apartment in the late afternoon "throw-away" hours of NYC recoup time. I have to admit, however, I do laugh. That is why I couldn't pass the opportunity to share the John Mayer reel of "Celebrity". (poor UPS guy).

You have to love the guy for the following reasons:
1. He wears thongs and feels proud to fly in the face (with his nuts) of the Paparazzi.

2. He can sing a cover of Tom Petty's "Free Falling" that makes you question the original...for a second.

3. He dates women like you did in middle school: Carelessly, without any major proof of real feelings, constant denial and elusive jokes, then bad-mouths and berates them when he is done, but not without first writing a wistful, aching love song that over-dramatizes his phantom emotions. (ok...not lovable, but funny).

CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO.It is sure to make you start your Tuesday with a little giggle.

PAS DE WOA!!! Will and Katee. SYTYCD!

Honestly, this show makes my week. Cat Deely is stunning in gold. Lil C has a way of articulating that inspires me to work on my analogies. Nigel is naughty, and Mary makes me cringe with embarrassment every time she talks, but I love her. I wish she was my kooky aunt. The world wouldn't be the same without her strange excitement.

The Top 10 had a go of it last night. Comfort came back due Jessica's injury. Gev and Chelsea knocked out a contemporary routine to Otis Redding. Comfort and Twitch got "buck" with a hip-hop routine by Dave Scott. And finally, the standout dance of the night was Will and Katee, the sure-fire finalists in a Pa de deux number choreographed by Desmond Richardson, the prettiest looking, most renowned ballet dancer alive today!



Pas De WOA. I love this show. Happy Thursday.

Bumby hump day Lulu Roundup.

Alrighty...This Wednesday is going to be a serious bumpy hump day. The market will be a wild ride after closing at under 11,000 for the first time in two years. Bernanke is gloomy. Bush is "Optimistic" (which is nuts). Crude oil dropped the most in more than a decade yesterday.

The Chicago Tribune's editor Anne Marie Lipinski resigned. The AL won AGAIN at the historic All Star game in Yankee Stadium, so the Cubs won't get home field advantage if they get to the World Series. Iran and a US are talking Nuclear energy. All of it really matters, but in typical Lulu mismatching of relevancy...The top 10 of So You Think You Can Dance! is on tonight, as well as Season 5 of Project Runway!!! It's the little things, especially when all the "big" things are going awry.



As always when everything else seems bleak; I challenge you and myself to send some good energy into the great abysmal space between the carnage of our economy and the ripple effect it is having all over the homes near us all. In the very least let's be nice today. Devote your yoga practice to someone or group you love. Set an intention to be verbally grateful at least once an hour today. Be attentive to your children, or your best friends.

Find the small things to smile about today and just be. Yippee.

Joshua and Katee dance Bollywood: SYTYCD!

Another night, a hair cut for Nigel, and a dressed-down Cat. Mia Michaels was on the judging panel and was in good spirits. Nigel seemed a little frisky, and Mary was endearingly embarrassing as always.

I would be reminisced if I did not share the latest knock-out dance from Joshua and Katee doing a Bollywood-eque dance incorporating hip hop and African dance. I cringed a bit at first, in fear of how it would play out. They nailed it, with knee-spins and "light-bulb changing shoulder pumps".

Take a look:


Just watching it again this morning makes me want bop around smiling with an over animated face and compulsive eyelash batting.

Oh Shiva Shiva. Om Shanti Om.

My new crush: Don Draper of AMC's Mad Men....

Holy Smokes! I have a new crush! Jon Hamm plays the incredibly elusive "Don Draper" in AMC's series (set for season 2, July 27th) MAD MEN. The show is a stylized series that takes a look at the "golden age" of Ad-men on Madison Avenue in NYC.

It follows the lives of Don Draper and his immediate stratosphere; the young executives vying for his creative director position, and the women that feed and whittle his ego on this journey. It is compelling, moving, well written and seductively intriguing. It unravels the facade of 1960's family model and delicately tip-toes the issues at hand for men (gay and straight), women and the slowly collapsing square pegs that held this country's prude and suffocating deceptions of "happiness".

Let me begin with the perfect creation of Matt Weiner, Don Draper: the slick and charming, smooth talking, slogan-filled lead creative director of Sterling Cooper. He is a fictional character of a dying breed of man. He has deep lost eyes that are driven by ego and the shocking reality that fantasy can create the perception of happiness and beauty….and so he does. Create it.

There is humility to him. The purple heart you saw in his office, allows you to forgive that he also keeps at least three starched white shirts in his desk drawer. His distant, but genuine concern for a deeper understanding of himself and women gives him a depth.

In the pilot episode he reprimands a "young gun" for berating a new secretary: "..and you will be in middle management, in the corner office with a little hair and women will go home with you because they pity you. That is because no one will like you." (PIZOWWWWWW!)I love this guy.

He gets work advice from his lover and muse and joked that they should marry. She replies: "You know I don't make plans". Only later in the show did I realize he was already married! To a stunning and struggling wife, played by January Jones.

Matt Weiner finds the grace in walking the wire with the misogyny and accepted behavior of all of the male characters. Even the women.

At one point, Joan(Christina Hendricks) says to Peggy

(Elisabeth Moss): "The good men that made this, made it easy enough for a woman to use." after uncovering a typewriter. Ouch. I flinched and air punched the sexism right there. When asked by Don: "What makes women happy?" his boss replies: "Who cares?" matter-of-factly. Double ouch. Divorce drives down property value, women hide emotions, and yet it feels entirely human, and unoffensive.

I know I have "issues". Save the pity or the psycho-analysis. Done it. Don't care...I always have one-foot in the clouds, I'm always attracted to a man that demands attention, carries his enormous power with quiet calm, and magnetically pulls you in with false vulnerability wrapped up in the dark and mysterious charm of word-magic and big hands. Yep...I truly would do just about anything Don Draper requested. Good thing he is fictitious....He finally answers his own question about what women want...and Dear God, for the love of Nixon, he is right.

At one point he says: "Fear stimulates my imagination." Like I said...Holy smokes. I want to put the FEAR in this man.....Now, where is my conical brassiere?

To take a look at some footage from Season one click HERE.

Mia Michaels morphs your mood: Katee and Josh dance to Adele.

Last night was a new moon and another episode of "So you think you can dance."Cat Deely wore a penguin tux-like suit dress and looked silly, but so it goes. Nigel wore a bankers shirt, with a striped pink tie....and was so yummy. I need clinical help to understand my attraction to him! All that aside. I started blogging it last night, then got bored.

...That was before Mia Michaels' routine performed by Josh and Katee. She picked Adele's "Hometown Glory" as the backdrop song. Honestly, I was in the worst mood. Watching this dance, changed that. She actually has the ability to shift the way you FEEL through choreography. That is insane to me. I honestly love her. Total girl crush. She is mean, and moody and dark and loving and capable of interpreting life and translating it into movement.

I know little about technical contemporary dance, but the chaos and fluidity. The musicality and tempo of it was stunning. The scissor kicks from Josh while Katee jumped, the stepping forward and back, the big moments and the "monumental stillness" as Mary described it, was the difference between entertainment, and being affected.

I just want to have a bottle of wine with Mia, hear how her crazy head works, see what she sees. Take a look. Dance fan or not...if this number doesn't give you chills or at the very least make you slow nod...then bugger off. You are an emotionally un-penetratable droid and thereby deemed alien to me.



Okay, that was harsh. But.....Mia makes you want to hug or punch or lick someone....she just does. You know it, she knows it.

Benoodles! So You Think You Can Dance! 6.18.08

Tonight feels like full moon fever. Nigel is wearing the throw-back tie/shirt combo of pink and red. Mia Michaels said that it was going to be "Benoodles!" and my she-lover Cat Deely looked fantastic in black and feathers. Mary was in leopord skin and lace, and her boobs looked like a place I could hide...warm and smooshy. Even Nigel noticed.

Chelse and Thayne did a strange off-color regal thing. It looked terrible, and not very difficult. I do think Chelsie's outfit could be used creatively in a different situation. Mia said: "I think you fell off the train." Waahhhh wah.

Chelsie and Mark danced the Tango. She was hot...black panties. Crazy ostrich knee-jerk spastic kicks. Cat fixed her pinky toe, which had popped out in protest to the steaminess. Mia called them the "perfect and odd couple."

Jessica and Will danced hip-hop. It was really just Will. His movement was raw and NYC-hard. Whatever that means. Cat Deely said: "Word, Nigel, Word."

Kourtni and Matt danced the Fox Trot. There was a practice move that stuck her whoo-whoo in his mug. They did such a great and graceful job. The both mastered the "who me? surprised happy-go-lucky" face. She is Uma Thurman's younger cousin!

Courtney and Gev danced a contemporary routine. That was the first Chill-inducing dance this season. I want to go undulate with someone. It was sensual and vulnerable. Gev showed a new side of his capacity. Awe...a soft little underbelly side. The intimacy was moving. I felt invasive of their chemistry. Loved it.

Katee and Joshua danced a Broadway number. Oh did they?! It looked absolutely exhausting. They looked like smiling vaudeville chickens on amphetamines! Nigel got up and danced like a drunken bafoon! "What a beautiful spirit!" was how he described it.

Susie and Marquis danced the Salsa. It hurts my eyes....Marquis did a great job, but I cannot watch her (again). Sorry. I'm sure she is sweet and nice. It felt dirty. Mary said: "I saw more chemistry in high school chem 101." Asta Susie.

Kherington and Twitch danced the Viennese Waltz and they infused it with a sweet nectar of love and purity. They moved well and with an essence of grace that was sweeping the floor. I can't believe Twitch was able to make this happen. I LOVE HIM!

Comfort and Chris danced some Crump. I have to admit, I did this last year at the W-downtown in NYC. No one was amused. (tee-hee). Two-too many pommetini's. I thought this would leave Chris on the side of the road like a tramp after a bad bj...but he stood up pretty well. She killed it. I still loathe two-tone tube socks. No matter what.

I have a problem. I am attracted to Nigel. I think its the pink and red and him saying "little c".

Good night moon.

So you think you can dance - Top 20 - 6/11/08

(shiver...) I LOVE CAT DEELY. She has such an authentically awkward "awe shucks" lack of ego about her. She looks incredible in a metallic dress and equally embarrassed about it. Even Nigel had to say: "The only front-runner I can speak of...is YOU....you have dancer's legs!"

Ahhh....the sexy-tension between these two makes my tummy feel yummy.

Rayven and Jamie danced to "American Boy" by Estelle (feat. Kanye West). I have been tilt-head bobbing to this song with the windows down this summer. We saw his junk being tugged by some blue briefs. Hm? Necessary? Nope. For a ballroom dancer, he had more THUMP in his movement than I expected. I like it. Mary is scary when she screams. I literally feel my own vocal chords coil in embarrassment for her. She called it "Cotton-candy hip hop." Agreed.

Susie and Marquis danced a waltz. (yawn). Marquis is stand out, I didnt even notice Susie until the light caught the red in her hair. The lift looked like a good-in-the-moment sex idea, gone wrong in ergonomics and feasibility. They got good marks from the judges. Eh.

Kourtni and Matt danced to "Tainted love" by soft cell. It was strange and interesting. It felt a bit like a Jim Carey role for both of them. British robbers in the night, but I didn't feel moved.

Chelsea and Thayne danced the Cha-Cha. He is AWESOME. I loved him from the first reel. The dance couldn't have been any more soppy-with aseptic cheese, but they pulled it off. Chelsea was steaming. Can I wear a shirt like his? Nothin' a little double-stick tape couldn't hold in.

Chelsie H and Mark danced a Mia Micheal's routine. Tim-Burton weddingesque to "Beautiful" by Me'Shell Ndegeocello. It was like a national geographic vision of ostriches and tool. I am biased, but I loved it. Animalistic and strange. Mary said it was like "watching you throw around a powder-ball". I loved powdered balls!

Kherington and Twitch danced a Tice Deorio routine. The dance itself was amazing in tempo changes from fast-feet to slow motion, showcasing the energy and body movement of both. By far my favorite. Definitely going to be a crowd pleaser. Let me just answer the show's question....uh...YES!

Comfort and Chris danced the Jive. Nigel said she was "smoldering". but I think it looked lacking on the foot-work. Not really much more to say about it. Everyone talked about personality.


Katee and Joshua danced a hip hop routine from Napoleon and Tabitha. This choreography is unbelievable. Transcending, really. They danced like they had magnets in their feet on a metal floor. She pops about as good as Britney mothers, but I was more interested in him. Wow. Nigel said: "They emoting together". I want someone to emote with me! Waaaaaaaaaa.


Jessica and Will danced the Tango. I wanted it to be good, but....it just was. It is a tough dance. What do I know? It just looked OK to me. Everyone else was impressed. I suggest we just "Tango-on" like Al Pacino says in Scent of a Woman.


Courtney G and Gev danced Disco. EEK. She is a cutey in canary yellow. It must be hard to make this dance look technical. Open leg spins? fist pumps? body-waves? They did well with what they got. Nigel said it looked like "Disco duck". 'Nuff said.


For future parents...please name your children responsibly. Dance on players. That was a doozy. I am going to chasse over to a drink now. Go cubs.

Marc-Andre Fleury is a hockey god!

Okay. I don't know what it is, but I scream like a drunk dutch viking when I watch Stanley Cup finals. You don't? I love the energy and speed of it. Watching men pound each other with one mission in sight makes me happy. The same kind of happy that makes me love movies like Gladiator and Braveheart. Tonight, I am screaming: "Ooooooooooooooo?!" and "What was THAAAAT?!" at the Pittsburgh - Detroit game 5.
(Image-Dave Sandford/Getty Images)


Fleury is a hockey god. He threw his heart on the ice and kept pumping whatever he needed to to fend off the onslaught of offensive shots from the Red wings. Nay-Sayers are hushed tonight!

"Zata" aka Henrik Zetterberg gives me tingles. He is Swedish, warm-faced and has a hockey finesse that can make a girl shift in her seat. Technically, I'd rather watch the Penguins WIN the cup, but getting to watch Hank is a bonus. (yes, all those names are for the same man.) I don't mind watching Datsyuk fly past defense men either. Sykora said he would score, and like a good man does....he delivered!

Call me butch, strange, or ridiculous, but I LOVE this sport! In my personal history of puck-crushes, they are "normal" guys. I dated enough to know. Most of them, ironically have good hearts. Smelly hands, but brains too. I find myself all gushy inside with the duplicity of it.

My emotions get me though. In the first period the Penguins looked sloppy, dare I say nervous or tired, then Hossa scored. Minutes later, Kronwall (a RED WING) tried to protect the goal and the puck bounced off his stick, then off Hall's skate to score the second goal for the Penguins. I was pleased...go Penguins, but I want to hug Kronwall. That kind of fluke will haunt him. I am a girl, I don't like people's feelings hurting. I also don't have the stomach to watch head slams into the boards, or broken noses, but so it goes for tonight.


Is it weird that I get hot seeing a man skate backwards faster than most men can run? Is it bizarre that I love the sound of hockey stops and slicing ice? Is it terrible that I can not stand to watch football? (even though my husband played Div 1 college ball). Blame it on high school crushes, or Brad Norton. I don't know. It's a weakness I have. Brut force hands being gentle...oyvey.

Triple overtime..50 odd shots blocked..young legs....and my boys from the hilly Pitt-town stay to fight another day. Maybe one day I can have a son, take him and his stinky bag to the rink day in and day out and watch him play out the dichotomy I love with pride....No tellin'.

Stranger things have happened...you just have to believe...I did!!!

So You Think You Can Dance- LA. 5.22.08

Ahhh...The world felt right for about two hours last night. Just hearing the opening music; my body starts to jitter like ephedrine-infused coffee beans. A couple things I have to state:

I love Mia. She is so kind and benevolent, and funny at the same time. She actually tries NOT to exploit people, but she also can't help laughing either. Can I just say, I want to wear a black off-the-shoulder Flashdance mini dress with leg warmers over my heels! How can I rationalize pulling that off somewhere?

Sidenote 1: Can you picture Nigel dancing? Choreographing? I tried. I can't. And...I'm not attracted to him this season. Oh well. ( good thing I guess, that was a bit scary)

"Sex" came back with his mother. His pelvic thrusts literally dry up any estrogen flowing through my body. Watching him is unnatural for me. I feel my female organs cringe and gag. His words: "I have trained with many, many, many, many master-choreographers." -Right.

"Twitch" was amazing. I want to pinch his cheeks and call him George.

(side note 2: ) When I get uncomfortable with the awkward moments of the show, like when the 46-yr old -Russian divorcee was crawling on the stage and such, I make my hands into binoculars to shield my eyes a little. It's bizarre and involuntary.

'Philip Cheebeb" aka the guy who looks like a cartoon moving in a flip-book drawing. I don't think he has any bones. It is unreal. My question is: How do you discover that talent? Was he limboing and doing the lambada at the same time...interesting.

"Erica Gee" was so good. She moves like Allison, but has her own thing going. Smile-inducing and gazelle-like. Love her.

"Victor Kim" came on stage and I couldn't stop yelling "WHAT?" in my living room. Not joking. I was yelling. Call me uncouth or immature, but my brain had no words except: "WHAT?". Forearm jumps? Full body elbow-balance, Inverted lateral back bend hand-stand push up? WHAT!?

All I can say is my cheeks are still sore from smiling. And...my creeping crush on Cat Deely is not going away. I want to sit on the stairs next to her and smell her hair. (tee-hee)