Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Got five bucks? Tegan and Sara live sessions EP

Well happy hump day. I was bouncing around in my morning routine to a little shimmy-worthy song or two. "I just want back in your head - LIVE" by Tegan and Sara. Not sure what it is exactly that makes me perky about the song. It's quite desperate, but it has an interestingly upbeat sound. I love the surprise of pleasantly being getting something different than what you might expect. This little EP did just that. And, of course (wait for it) it has nice harmony. My musical weakness. In fact, I might go buy myself one of those egg-shaky maracas today. At any point through out my day if someone says or does something I don't like/or care about, I will start playing it.

Who doesn't want back in some one's head? Sure it's a little whiny, but it moves me. I don't ask for too much more in music.

The Live sessions came out as an iTunes exclusive April 28th. Songs include:
From THE CON:
"The Con,"
"Nineteen,"
"Back In Your Head"
"Burn Your Live Down"
And from JEALOUS:
"Where Does The Good Go?"

I. just.want. back. in. your.head....Awe. How about I just want back in your bed? No. Or, I just want my Rolling stones albums back. Or I just want to back out of my head?

Here is to a sunny, cheery last day in April. To answer the ladies' question:I think the good goes where you let it, if you stay open and willing to allow it. Get ready friends and hookers, I am in the type of mood that could mediate nothing but happy-willing thoughts of positive intentions, neuro-peptides and maybe I'll even throw an O somewhere.

Look out.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

American Idol's Top 5 sing Neil Diamond.

Ahhhh...Tuesday night. It is almost the end of April, and the end of my day. The mini-me is down, I am sipping my wine, and watching American Idol. It is Neil Diamond night. Great marketing spread over the age groups. Have they already done the Bee Gees? That would be fantastic.

Neil Diamond needs to lay off the botox. I won't lay into that one. Can men just be men? Its okay. People get older, it happens. I don't expect a nearly 70-year old man to be tan, un-wrinkled and blankly left without accompanying facial reaction to emotion. Sorry. I don't. It's nuts I know. He is cute, I want to put a soft blanket over his knees and kiss his forehead.

Jason Castro sang "Forever in blue jeans" and "September Morn". He is cute and cuddly, if you like the smell of dreads, but he just doesn't seem to be the tightest guitar string on the bridge. First song was boring, second song almost made me get up and slow-dance by myself. He had something in his throat? Yep A voice box, use it.

David Cook sang "I'm alive" and "All I really need is you". Nih, on the facial hair. The first song was OK. Second song worked for me, a little too much whisper-singing at the beginning, but he pulled it out. Awe...Neil Diamond songs are so forlorn and loving. Where are the good lyrics in todays music? Most top songs don't even have correct English. "Can't breathe with no aiiiirrree, aiiirrre, aiiiirree."

Side note 1: Paula thought who sang a second song? Spaz woman.

Brook White sang "I'm a believer" and "I am, I said". I think I pulled a ligament in my neck cringing. What is the deal? She my folksy vote, and it was a little painful. I pictured Shrek dancing across the screen, and felt like a bad fair-ground performance. Damnit to bell bottoms. Second song was nice. Really nice. There she is, I knew she was in there. Again. Lyrics. Love 'em. I'm a sap. I think the trick with her is to get into the songs enough that her squeak sounds authentic. She didn't leave me lonely with that one.

David Archulete sang "Sweet Caroline" and "America". Seriously people. I cannot get past his speaking voice. It really sounds like a woman in those protective custody videos, with their faces blacked out and voices muffled. "You touching me, touching you...." The words make me happy, but not coming from his lips. Sheesh. "America" was ok. How does he make a Neil Diamond song soung like a Michael McDonald song? He better thank his stars for grannies and teen-pantie votes. He gets them.

Sidenote #2 : Simon and I share a brain. If I could just talk him into an undershirt...

Syesha Mercado sang: "Hello again" and "Thank the Lord for the night time". I'm really not a fan, but she vocally nailed her first. It truly was lovely. I might have to ponder a good post for when you DON'T want to hear that song title. (ie:After short-paying the waitress and saying she looked like a hooker, only to find out she is your ER nurse later that night, when you teeth-whitening has burnt a hole through your enamel) Syesha looks like she has been doing yoga. Ripped triceps and barefoot. Nice.

The whole experience of tonight's show was too fast. It threw too much at me.It felt like a nervous teen fumbling through the motions as fast as possible, and left me over-fondeled and under-satisfied. Maybe next time.

And the beat goes on and on....

Monday, April 28, 2008

Lulu on Shine.com

I like to consider myself someone who is on the cutting edge. I know there are those of you who are way beyond that description, maybe you are the thought to cut the edge, and the so on...I do, however, know a great web site when I see one.

Look, I value my time. Tonight was supposed to be devoted to a new episode of "House" with one of my reoccurring top three, Hugh Laurie. I was also supposed to watch the new episode of "Samantha Who?" (What, what Chi-ca-go.) But...instead, I perused the pages, and articles on Shine.com. I recognized a few mom-bloggers, I stopped to read great articles from magazines I love, I even scoffed at some entertainment news about Miley Cyrus and Booby Johansson. (Whom I truly believe Ryan Reynolds will dump!) It felt like a slow stroll through a sunny cobblestone web-street.

I found Shine. A brand-spanking new site for women. This site covers everything from love and sex, health and fitness, parenting, and everything in between. Some pretty innovative women have found a way to find the most interesting web-content floating in space and present it in a hip and ever-evolving forum.

To take a look at my newly started blog on Shine, Click Here

Shine on, shine on, shine on!

I have a crush on Phil Falcone.

Phil who? If you know anything about the stock market, or even barely lift your head to look at business news you know who he is. I didn't have a clue until he made the cover of BusinessWeek. The 44 year old, ex collegiate hockey-player-turned-hedge-fund-manager has everything I need in a crush.

He is edgy and a little mean. He takes huge risks and speaks directly ( so I read) and well, he has balls of steel. I was pondering the concept. Either it was incredible editorial writing or this guy is a money pioneer, or both. Youngest of nine, has twin daughters, worth billions....in his mid-forties = Lulu Crush.

Safe to say, I have issues. My husband pointed it out as I kept reading portions of the article out to him as if I was a 12 year old reading Tiger Beat for the first time. Its not new, man takes risk makes billions, but has an ironic back story. My dream date would be to watch Anderson Cooper and Erica Hill interview him while I ate chocolate chip drizzle cookies in my pajamas. ( okay, not my "dream" date, I have way more exciting ideas, but I'm staying clean here)

Anywho. The whole pointless point of this post was to question my obsession with young, risk-taking millionaire men, and to say that it is inspiring to see men like this. Forget the whole sexual attraction Darwin thing. ( I had a mini crush on the twisted "Daniel" from There will be blood.) I will go lay on a couch to process all this some other time. It's not really that I want him. I want to BE him. I'm not normal.

I somehow find it uber-invigorating to watch people run with ideas. I find it fascinating to see iconoclasts beat the fighting currents of mediocrity and win. I find it awe-inspiring to witness the act of going with your gut, working hard and being rewarded.

Look him up, read about it him. Maybe he is a total jerk. Maybe he is evil and drinking the blood of broken companies but he had an idea, he sticks with his guns, and wins. If absolutely nothing else, he tried something different...and it paid. Big time.

Link to the BusinessWeek article is HERE

I DRINK YOUR MILKSHAKE!

Friday, April 25, 2008

If you're happy and you know it...

You would think I'd be a little disappointed that the TV last night was a little soft. Grey's Anatomy was hugely entertaining, but they still repeat everything?! Why do they do that? Anderson Cooper wasn't on 360, and I am starting to believe the theories that he is going to take over Katie Couric's spot and Cambel will replace him. "Brown Hill 360". Sounds a bit like a description of my arse when I was pregnant.

Wow...It's a bit uncanny how much I look like those monkeys when you see us side by side. Hm?

Any who. I love how life has the strangest way of presenting carved out pathways if you choose to look. I have trouble with trust. So much so, I often don't even trust my own feelings, but lately, there is no denying my happiness. I am clear-headed, open-ended and full of possibility. Maybe it's Spring. Maybe its because I finally noticed the large grey cloud looming, and simply stepped out from under it.

I don't fool myself into thinking I have "it" figured out. I have noticed that "it" is a fluid concept, and by staying fluid myself, and evolving with the changing times, the process is substantially more enjoyable. Now, of course, that wont apply when "it" happens to be a death in the family or sickness, or job loss, but I believe we can define a moment or challenge in life by the lessons or self-discovery found in the journey. ( cue the unison "pft").

Things to be happy about today: ( just to get you started)

- The smell of fresh spring rain on concrete.

- Tulips and Daffodils.

- Changing out closets and re-discovering how good it feels to wear open-toed shoes.

- The following lyrics: "You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do it on the dis-cov-ery channel."

- Outside concert series are about to begin.

-Random smiles from strangers on the street because we are all glowing in the prospects of new chances, and the beginning of May.

-Greenness (theoretical, environmental, and visually on the trees!)

-Plums and Tangerines

-Getting old fashioned hand written letters/notes/cards. Go send one. It will make some one's day!


So, roll your eyes. I don't mind. I am happy. I suspect you might be getting happier by the day too. Walk a little slower because you can. Love a little more frisky because giddy feels good.


Go on...fight it, spite it, poke it with a stick, but I warn you: Big smiles are ahead of you. You will start this Friday with a light glow that will beam brighter as the weekend approachs. Not to mention, one of the two annoying songs referenced in this post will be in your head all day. Enjoy. My gift to you.

...you and me baby...ain't nothing but mammals....clap your hands!! If you're happy and you know it...

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

American Idol Top 6- 4.22.08

Ryan is a special color of tan tonight. I have to admit, I have much greater interest in Obama's primary action, but I cannot open myself up to the lashings I will get for not posting on the Andrew Lloyd Weber show. Upon the announcement of this, my husband dropped his shoulders and said: "Oh man...why can't they play "Real" music?" That was funny. This is real music.

Enter stage right:

Side note 1: I've decided, I am going to use my hands like Lord ALW. I will connect all my finger tips in a loose hand-cage like position.


Syesha Mercado sang "One rock n roll too many." I want to stand on a piano! The only time I hear this kind of music is on the "Backyardagains". Randy thought it was her "best performance." I want a "happy place" too!


Side note 2: Ryan pronounced Pussycat dolls as "PoooCee-cat dolls." He put the emPHAsis in the wrong SYLLable.


Jason Castro sang "Memories". Not all men should try all white outfits. I wont say it again, but I picture strange things sitting on the stool. It sounded a bit like Enrique and Cat Stevens fused into a scary karaoke moment. There's no whining in CATS!? Sorry. I love him, but that meat wasn't accenting the au jus. I wonder if his hair smells like meat or au jus? Simon said "You were miserable throughout, I was partly miserable throughout."


Brook White sang "You must love me." I love her dress. Um...she forgot the lyrics!? I guess its cool that she really doesn't get the "game-time" moment of being on national television for millions of us watching. She is human. I love her, but I fear we know more about her anxieties and humanness than her vocal ability. If she were a cartoon, she is a quickly-beating, sweaty heart with little thin white legs and curly Blondie hair...like an m&m.


David Archuleta sang "Think of me." Andrew Llyod Weber told him to open his eyes. I am telling him to not lick his lips, but he won't listen to either of us. He just squints like my husband pretending to watching a girly-movie with me. This is what it sounded like to me: "whisper sing, run, run, whisper sing, run, longer run, bongo drum, whisper run. Not for me. At least he doesn't wax his eyebrows and have an orange tan. (yet) Randy said "This boy is the one to beat!" They love him. Wait...Maybe Simon and I are kindred.

Carly Smithson sang "Superstar". She sounds like Mini Driver in the consignment store with Matt Damon during her package. BRING ME ANOTHER MAI-TAI! (kidding) She can sing so well Jesus Christ sounds hip. Oh yeah. She has a paisley in the shape of a uterus and ovaries in perfect placement. Immaculate. Simon said "It was one of my favorite performances of the night." Really? Did he have more than one?

David Cook sang "The Music of the Night." He completely sounds like amazing. He hit the best note of the night, and set spines on fire across the lazy couch-potato AI fan base. Has anyone listened to the words: "Touch me. Trust me....let your darker side give in." When a man says that to me...I shiver a little. David Cook wins American Idol in 2008.

There you have it kids and grandma's. Castro or White is out like Seacrest...I have to go see what the polls are telling us about our future here on this beloved Earth day. Be good. Be safe. Be Brave.

Touch me...Trust me...

Happy Earth Day!

There are several things to be happy about today...The Pennsylvania primary, the sun has been out and the weather is over 70 degrees in Chicago, I saw full-frontal penis in a movie theatre (and will never watch "How I met your mother" the same way again), and it is EARTH DAY!

Is it an overly commercialized and whored-out idea now? Maybe. Is it a sensational new retail market preying on our guilt of gross-negligence? Ah-huh. Is it frustrating to witness our consumerism-centric world of Eco-friendly bags, and t-shirts and green-gimmicks all while being uber-cool? Sure. But anything that makes people a little more aware of our huge foot-print(I love this term) on the earth is helping. I know as a mom, I struggle to find safe, healthy, green toys. I found this site and LOVE IT!

Green Toys

...Banana farms, Ant farms, solar panel frog toys, little eggs that hatch plants, wooden toys, organic cotton stuffed animals....It's innovative!

I was reading some articles from other moms in the area, some are pretty wise in saying that supporting earth day means NOT buying things, NOT getting more stuff, and consuming. Message received, point-taken. One quotes an old adage: "use it up, wear it out; make it do, or do without." in her article: "All I want for earth day is...nothing.".

I get that.I do. But, for the general masses who do still care about the planet, and the ice-caps and the general well-being of our future, but aren't ready to go Vegan and stop consuming anything but local farmer's market food, I think its great to at least make earth-conscious purchases. It's a start. (I think)

For the record. I didn't eat anything today, I shared a shower, and I meditated for world peace, love and serenity for all of you.

Happy Earth day.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Erica Hill and Anderson Cooper keepin' it sexy.

It has been way too long. I have hoping to see some sparks. They were luke-warm in tandem, but smoking hot individually. Yes, there are more important things to talk about, and I do talk about them, but I still love to watch Anderson Cooper and Erica Hill smirk and smile during AC 360.

First off, Erica Hill looks ravishing in her flirty frosty minty green. Seriously, the woman must be ovulating to glow like that. Look at this beauty.




Secondly, her trad mark eyebrow raise was in full upward motion, followed by Anderson's quiet non-comment silence after she said: "It accidentally shot off". ( speaking about a gun in the cockpit) I LOVE IT. Tisk Tisk....I know. Erica talks about gas. Anderson speaks faster than a Vegas pole-dancer gyrates to Madonna and JT's new song and "Whaaa waaa waaaa..." is on its way out.











Below they both make some inane remarks about a Zebra, but I can't take my eyes off of AC's perfectly blue-steal eyes. The two of them even make the same faces. Look a chin, cheek and lip placement. It's like a restrained smile. The kind you have when you have a secret. (I know..I'm totally grabbing at straws. It's fun though.)

What I think Erica wanted to say: "Anderson, I know that you were purchased for $20,000 at a charity event and Alec Baldwin only pulled $4,500, but I would kiss your perfect pink lips a thousand times over for FREE, and I want to mess up your hair, and pull on your ears and wrap you in cellophane and sing you a lullaby" (just guessing.)


Oh! and I have extreme pride and total adoration for Anderson for NOT succumbing to sunless tanner. He remains a healthy, baby-skin perfect, NATURAL skin color. Hooray for secure middle-aged MEN!!!!


Ahhhhhhhh...Right now, my world is close to perfect. In this moment, I am still warm from the 76 degree day, Anderson Cooper and Erica Hill threw pheromones, tomorrow is Friday, Jim faked out Pam (and me) on a marriage proposal and I don't have a fever anymore. I love you, world.


For more posts on Anderson Cooper and Erica Hill:CLICK HERE

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Over-thinking: Admissions of a crazy person.

I have had a lot of time to myself, which has reminded me how weird I am. I think a lot, about everything. After bouncing some of my daily thoughts off of others, I realize...I am pretty alone in this weirdness. I can't quite put my finger on where my "dooms-day" mentality fully materialized. I have a few hunches, but I will save you the pity stories of my very privileged life. I'm just really strange. Here are a few examples, feel free to laugh out loud. My husband does.


1. When I switch into clothes for the evening, I consider if I would be "OK" being seen in them if the house were to catch fire, or if an intruder came in the backdoor and I had to grab my child and run out the front door...you know, I don't want to be wearing lime green tapered sweats or something crazy.


2. Anytime someone is more than 20 minutes late to meet me, my mind considers all the possible things that could have happened. Car accident, brain aneurysm, or maybe they got mugged and are now laying in a ditch somewhere unclaimed, and I don't want to call and seem pushy, so it's all somehow my fault, you know, had I called I would have put a blip in the morbid destiny plan, and they'd still be alive. ( this has never happened, its usually disregard for time, or traffic)


3. When I hear about an ex doing "Well", Instead of taking the word for face-value and considering the minimal needs to be doing good are checked boxes, my mind goes way out there. I assume "Well" means he is swaggering through the sunny streets of happy, perfect land with his pelvis forward, and hot, young, eager women are dropping at his feet. Meanwhile, his latest professional endeavour is rivaling the Google inc. profits and blue birds are singing over his shoulder.I also picture him kicking his head back with clinking wine glasses laughing hysterically at funnier, nicer, prettier women than I will ever be. Nice.


4. When my 2 year old daughter sleeps past 6:30 am, I get fearful of walking up the stairs to her room, and approaching the door in fear that she has stop breathing and is freezing cold. I was also that new mom that checked to see if she was breathing every few hours for the first couple weeks of her life. She if fine, sleeps in b/c she is growing and learned to go back to sleep even when mommy was lingering around her face and nostrils at a young age.


5. When I see a man getting angry, I can't help but go through an entire fantasy circumstantial reason he is being unruly. Maybe he found out his girlfriend has been faking orgasms for years, and then his mother called and complained about how her best friend said she was needy and that it's too much work to always pump her ego up. She later told him how similar he is to her, and that she loved knowing they were kindred spirits. Then his co-worker used the term "fake it to make it" in a completely random and unrelated conversation and he just couldn't take it anymore. Well, that's one possibility.


So, if nothing else, I hope I have helped you see your nicely un-obessive mind as a gift. I'm happy to help in anyway I can. I still love the whole idea that feelings are real and thoughts are lies..maybe it's true, maybe it's malarkey.


Think about it. No don't....

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

American Idol Top 7 - 4.15.08

Oh Mimi....in a perfectly timed marketing and publicity blitz of E=MC2, tonight is going to be Mariah Carey night. (shoulder shrug). I guess it's better than the second night of Beatles or Dolly Parton night. Michael Johns is no longer with us ( big mistake America).

So, since I am feeling under the weather, and the chances of me making you laugh are minimal to nil, I will sum this up wizard. (what? Juno out on DVD today?) The boys brought it home tonight. The girls each sang a song. (blah, blah). Sadly, Kristy Lee Cook sang hers best out of the girls. My favorite, Brooke White did what she does...panicked and self-doubted thereby losing focus on her earthy, warm-toned voice, and more on her trembles. Now, the boys....


David Archuleta nailed his song "When you believe". He sang well, he wore leather tapered pants? Yikes.


David Cook took the "Forever be my baby" held it in a double chicken wing, broke it into pieces than infused it with creativity and balls and gave it wings to fly. (What is the quota on silly-same analogy references?) Seriously. He took this 90's female-dorm room single and gave it some hair to stand on end with chills. I loved it. I also want his cosmetologist or his makeup artist. That is some clear skin.


Jason Castro sang " I don't want to cry" was Cuban(y) and sexy. Nothing insanely talented, but he just has a sound that makes him unique. He also has pointy shoes.


Who'd a thunk it? Boys blew Mariah Carey night out of the saline implant! Nice.

You give me fever.....FEVER!

So, It's been a doozy. I have been hot, sweaty, tingly and on my back for about 4 days straight. The sad part about that description, is that it has nothing to do with some ha cha cha time, or a secret rendez-vous with a fantasy boyfriend (or my husband) but instead...today is the sixth day in a row that I have had a killer fever.


It wasn't your average I'm a little sick fever, no, It was like the demon-giant fever. This fever felt like metal plates had been installed between my bones and correlating muscle. It felt like my eyeballs were set up to an electric-shock machine, and every time I tried to turn them (eyes) my whole body would shiver with pain. I was delirious, sorry for myself and out right pathetic.


A few things I have learned about having a fever:


1.) Wine won't help. Ever. After 1/4 glass on Friday night, I ended up with what felt like a cement block for a head...and a 102 fever that night.


2.)Rent movies, even if you are incoherent.Laying in bed thinking: "why? why? why?" doesn't get you anywhere. Just this morning at 3:00am I suffered through "Regarding Henry" much better than I would suffer through my destructive thoughts on fever. A fever is to my sanity and peacfulness what a jack-hammer is to cement (refer to #1).


3.) Don't stick around to see people's reactions when you tell them you are sick, and your husband is out of town. You might start hysterically crying at the tiniest amount of compassion. I did. (thrice)


4.) Pay no attention to your dreams. Most likely they involve carnival pig-foot bobbing, or strange encounters with your ex-boyfriend wearing women's clothes and trying to put mascara on your lips. It's the fevers fault. Do not read into them.


5.) The doctor's thermometer ALWAYS reads lower than yours at home. ( like the scale reads heavier) So, the third time I went to the doctor, I took no chances..I brought my own to show the bastards that my 102.1 wasn't a figment of my imagination no matter what their piece of shite said. I'm sick. I'm hot. Please fix it.


Some tokens of sickly wisdom from me to you. Stay hot. I am.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Hormonal imbalance leads to kiss attack.

Boundaries have always been a debatable issue with me. I blog. (hint #1). My two year old and I were showering at the gym and she commanded: "Wiggle mommy, you're naked!" and I obeyed (hint #2)....only to have her say: "Ok-ay. Don't wiggle. It's not nice, momma." Ouch. So it goes with the moment-to-moment commentary of a toddler's honesty.

I will give it up. I am hormonal today. ( perhaps why I sniffled at the sneak-ads for Idol Gives back show). Maybe I am needing some affection, maybe it's a mother's instinct, maybe I'm emotional because Anderson Cooper got voted 3rd on Out.com's "power 50", but today as my daughter was waking up from her nap...I couldn't help myself. I wanted to make out with her. Yep. That's what I said. Guffaw, go ahead.

"Make out" is a term I'm using loosely. It just happens to be the only way to describe what grandmas all over the world mean when they say: "I could just eat you up." Seriously. She was so cozy, so cute, so bright-eyed and pure-hearted. She smells like strawberries, Ritz crackers and a tinge of outside-sweaty-boy. I inhaled deeply and filled with smother-mother love. I wanted to grab the back of her neck and kiss her silly. I did (appropriately, I may add) and she squirmed and giggled every minute of it. How could you not?!


I'm not complaining, this kind of hormonal influx could mean tears, tantrums, or even (and believe it or not-I have been known to do it) fight-baiting. An involuntary kiss-attack on a little girl I made, and spend every day of my life loving, ain't a bad outlet.


Love, kisses, toddler cheeks and happiness. Its days like this that make me so grateful I have her, and at peace that she has no questions, not even a lilliputain doubt about the multitude of love and value she has.

**cue the AIDS babies and African orphans on tonight's American IDOL show...hugging stars, and swatting at flies**

I'm bracing for a weepy (and quite possibly expensive) evening. Go spread some love!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Inspired American idol is a bit uninspiring- 4.08.08

It's that beautiful night again. I missed last week, and I don't want anymore nastigrams in regards to my assumed "laziness". So, let's get to it:

Michael Johns sang "Dream on" by Aerosmith. Bringin' back the neckerchief! He seemed really annoyed with Randy's response. I have to say he came off a little smug. He sang well. It didn't make me want to run out and download the song, only things like The Office commercial jingle made by Daryl and the gang: “Dunder-Mifflin: People, Persons, Paper, People” can do that.

Syesha Mercado sang "I believe" by ex American Idol, Fantasia. (Yawn). Rainbows, shooting stars, dreams...I give it to her, she made a cheesy song entertaining. I see a slow-motion gymnastic highlight film happening. Double-back, triple, triple, jump-dive roll, stick. Crabby Randy said: "It was OK."

Jason Castro sang: "Somewhere over the rainbow". Perfect choice for him. He looked so sweet holding the Ukulele and his performance was endearing. He might beat David Archuleta for the panty-grannie vote.

Kristy Lee Cooke sang: "Anyway" by Martina McBride. Wow, them there is some serious beady-sparkle-balls on those perky boobies. Hm. Other than that, I don't have much to say about it. I think I started day-dream/planning for tomorrow while looking right at her, and then I snapped back when she yelped and people started cheering. Eh. I'm sure she is nice. The judges thought it was great.

side note 1: I love the NB running commercials. "you broke up with running...and now you see it everywhere....and looking great."


David Cook sang "Innocent" by Our Lady Peace. This felt strange for me. It seemed really hard to sing, but not that easy to enjoy. He is going to be a finalist for sure though. He is an incredible singer, but it tripped up a bit tonight. Simon said: "It just wasnt anywhere near as good as the last two weeks."

Carly Smithson sang "The show must go on" by Queen. Okay. She is amazing, but this song just didn't really showcase that. I think my mother wore that unitard bathing-suit shirt in the early 80's. I love her, but she isn't selling it tonight. s'ok. It happens.

side note 2: Was exactly is a "fat pocket"?

David Archuleta sang "Angels" by Robbie Williams. It was a pretty amazing display of his ability to play the piano and sing. Seriously, try playing guitar and singing on ROCKBAND?! Randy said: "Crazy Hot! Loved it!" Funny ( but a little disturbing) moment, a young girl holding a sign that said: "Lick those lips!"

Brook White sang "You've got a friend" by Carole King. She is so clever to keep singing this genre. This song makes me smile and light up just thinking about Carole's face when she sings this live in concert with James Taylor. Sway with me....say :"Fall-ooooww-alll". She seemed a little shy or uncomfortable. She would be a good friend. She can't lie, she can't hide her own disappointment. Awee.

side note 3: Why am I crying at the "Idol gives back "preview segment? Hesus.

Alrighty then. Hopefully Anderson and Erica give me some good stuff tonight. (fingers crossed)

100 Reasons you're still single ( Radar Magazine)

Staying in line with my "bromance" thoughts...I thought I'd pull a great list into the deck. Radar Magazine published a list by Scott Jacobson, Todd Levin, Mike Sacks, and Teddy Wayne last fall. A few of my all time favorites:

2.Have entertained the notion that "the Axe Effect" is real

4. Purchased your dining room set with Marlboro Miles

5. Are only gay when you're drunk

9. Call sex "the squishy squish"

14. Own a "It's Not Going to Suck Itself" T-shirt

23. Begin stories with, "I'm not a stalker, but ..."

31. Call October "Rocktober"

37. Prefer the "fist bump" when meeting strangers and always insist they "lock it in"

46. Feel most comfortable in Tevas and jorts

57. Own a 60-inch flat-screen plasma television but sleep on a broken futon

66. Wouldn't be the person you are today without Mitch Albom's Tuesdays with Morrie

70. Sold your forehead to goldenpalace.com

78. Own all 24 volumes of Now That's What I Call Music!

79. Are O.J. Simpson


To see the article yourself ( which I suggest, if you need a little giggle loop in your tuesday)...CLICK HERE

"Bromance" vs. Romance. Woody and Owen.

I have had a sinking suspicion for years now. Take a look at Hollywood (not the best study on reality, but it's a perfect example), More and more men are choosing to have bromances as one of their top relationships. Still dating, still maybe even loving women or other men, but spending alarming amounts of time together.

(photo: Getty Images)

Case in point: Woody Harrelson was recently shot in the buff (and what a nice buff it is) in Miami with his buddy, and a love of mine, Owen Wilson. They vacation together, they go to events, they skinny dip!

The number of men staying single past the age of 35 is increasing at exponential rates (who knows..sounds right.)It seems like men have found a collaborative acceptance in bagging the said "stigma" of being older and single. Why not? I won't begin to even speculate on the possible social, environmental, and situational causes like women with big careers that are deferring family life "one more year" or the discouraging divorce rates. Instead, I will come up with unfounded guesses of my own.

Reasons "Bromances" TRUMP Romances:


1. No more than 2 minutes necessary on the phone. Example: "Fishing? Sure...10 minutes, I'll get beer."


2. Deciding to live together is more an exercise of frugal synergies, and fun instead of a life sentence. Laundry mix ups mean extra wardrobe.


3. Dogs over catty. Men have an incredible capacity for forgiveness, or was it forget fullness? Man flakes on a man, who cares. Man flakes on his girlfriend, sex is rationed, and some sordid mind-game punishment ensues.


4. Telepathy not required. There is rarely a man that says to another: "That isn't what I meant? You just don't get me it all." It's simple. It's to the point when in bro-speak. "Are you mad at me bro?" / "No, I just need to _(insert verb here: "shit", "sleep", "get laid"). Very clear. The only thing getting misplaced here are keys, condoms, or cell phones.

4a. A man would never say to another man: "Do I look fat in this?" He would just look fat in it.


5. Worst case scneario: the break up consists of splitting season tickets at Wrigley Field, and mild awkwardness at his bachlor party.That's far better than mutal assets divison and awkward partial holiday and weekend visits to see your child's step dad has a bigger, better car/house/hairline...etc.

Dude?......Duuuuuuuuuuuuuuude.

Sunday, April 6, 2008

AUTISM: The Musical on HBO. Don't miss it!

AUTISM: The Musical is a profoundly engaging documentary following families with children on the Autism spectrum as they prepare for a musical. (They are actually part of the conceptualizing and writing process).As a mother, it both breaks my heart and puffs it up to watch and learn how incredible these children and their parents are. The lens with which the movie shows you the intimate lives of several of the families allows for an honest look at what has too often been a taboo.

I am no expert, I have no psychology degree, I don't even have a school-aged child yet. (she is two) I am absolutely certain someone, somewhere else could describe it all more clinically, from a broader perspective and a deeper general knowledge of the subject matter; but this is how I saw it, this is how it made me feel...

Each of the kids have their own personal challenges, for some it is groups, or articulating original thought in verbal words. In one of the more emotional scenes for me, a young boy self-assess by saying: "Why do I go into my own world? I, I sometimes need friends, friends that can't be mean..." There is an inner conflict of rational self-awareness where he seems to question himself as an outsider and a human kindness that encourages him to be accepting. It was stunning.

Another point in the movie one of the mothers goes into a rightful rant about how she can't make people VALUE her daughter. She says:

"Until these humans are valued, nobody's going to find a cure, nobody's going to take the chemicals out of the vaccines, nobody's gonna make the school system follow the law, nobody's going to make the doctor's follow the law, nobodys going to give us insurance....I can't make them value her."

( um...this was one of the heartbreak moments..)

I felt so compelled to watch the entire thing. Hell, I have watched it three times since it premiered on HBO. I can't NOT watch it when I pass it on the guide. I suggest you don't either. Unfortunately, I think Autism is one of those things people don't really pay attention to unless it falls within a decent degree of separation. That is a shame.

I have a healthy, fully functioning child (I'm sure I didn't say that properly) and I feel nothing but compassion and genuine interest in this. If you have a child, plan on having a child, have a heart beat or breathe air, see the movie, fall in love with these kids and learn that each have an incredibly unique take at it all. It's as if they each absorb the world through different mediums, in different languages and each has his or her own beauty generator. The outcome is an interpretation that they understand and we need to learn, if we would take the time.

It is human, it is real, and it is affecting people ( 1:150). Again, I am no expert. I have no ties to either the movie or the organization. As a mother, as a friend to other mothers, as a human moved beyond description by a 2 hour documentary about kids I will never know, I think in the very least, I can help spread awareness.

Click here to learn more about Autism at Autism Speaks
To learn more about the movie AUTISM:The Musical:
Click Here

(This post is cross-posted at Chicago Moms Blog )

Per usual...I just threw a curve ball. Especially if you got here by recent searches of "Neon nut-thong" or "Anderson mounts Erica". A blog about sex, music, mistakes and all kinds of TV triviality brings you this. I may be a bit nutty, but my heart has to send this sentimental ping of love and help out in the only way I know how. Least we forget, I am infamous for poor timing, irony and ill-matched topics. It is what brings you back.

You never know what you're gonna get. Tonight you get love and Autism. Who knows what tomorrow will bring!

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Oh Depeche Mode - I want somebody...wait, no really.

I warn you in advance, this might get messy. This post will serve as at least one good bullet point in a long list of why blogging is a better outlet for drunk writing than an ex-boyfriends/or girlfriends cellphone number or email.

This is such a little silly little musical ride down memory lane (aka: Tarut road). Firstly, I LOVE YouTube. Where else can I look for Depeche Mode: "I want somebody"..and find the authentic video? and B.) (just kidding, Im not really drunk) The heart-beat sounds and the hair on Martin Gore bring me back. Way back.

Perhaps this was a signal that I wasn't quite normal for my age. I was 9. I would play this song (along with my sister, who had similar hair to Martin at the time) over and over. I believe, in fact, it is THIS song, its lyrics, and my fervor for playing it for three months straight all day, every day that have led to my romantic and relationship demise for the many years to come.
"I don't want to be tied to any one's strings/I'm carefully trying to steer clear of those things."

Right.Where were we? In Saudi Arabia, on the second floor of a stucco house that looked just like everybody else's house on the compound. Both of us singing with the kind of longing to be taken seriously that only tween and teen girls know. We drank Fanta or Rani, we ogled our own breasts for hours in the mirror, wondering when our time would come.... to be loved like this song requests. I am a big believer that everyone has that ONE song that changed the way ( right or wrong) that they would see and aspire to love. This was mine. I hadn't been on this earth a decade.




Perhaps you have a different memory of this song, or not at all. It was the mid-80's. Maybe you were watching Terms of Endearment (one of my all time favorites), or you were trying crack in its debut year? Who knows...hope not. It's whack. Or worse...maybe Band aid's "Do they know it's Christmas?" was your favorite!? Whatever you were doing, somewhere, that year, at either 9 or maybe a more appropriate age, you were hoping to love somebody. Somebody like this song creates.

"Someone who will help me see things in a different light/all the things I detest, I will almost like"

Awe. Godspeed if you did...Good luck if you still want...( I mean it.)Get out there and break into this song next time you see someone you want. See what happens.

Also...a moment of silence for our bangs, the carefully crafted and curled, hair-follicle explosion of creativity that strived to never go unnoticed.

Thank you, and good night. No more wine or cactus pear martinis for me.

Friday, April 4, 2008

"Shine a Light" Movie: Rolling Stones and Scorsese opens today!

Ahhh....Today is April 4th and what better way to dive into the weekend than with the elusive Mick Jagger rockumentary shot by director Martin Scorsese? I have been a Rolling Stones fan since I can logically remember. I will love just about anything if you put it to a Stones' song. Ending fade away of the pilot episode of Californication with "Cant always get what you want." A nerdy kiss in high-school to the tune of "Wild Horses". I fell in love...I'm just saying, the longevity and the beauty in their music sparks a memory or emotion with just about anyone.

Who doesn't want a backstage viewing of this band? I am gobsmacked at the mere site of Keith Richards. David Edelstein had a pretty incredible description of him in NEW YORK Magazine:

"Keith Richards's survival is a persistent source of wonder:Rock history is full of people who tried to keep pace with him, drug-wise, and did not survive-Brian Jones among them. yet here he stands, looking like Freddy Kruger's gypsy grandmother but alive and ridiculously happy"

Maybe you don't consider yourself a huge Rolling Stones fan ( I wont hold it against you, even though its the first sign we wouldn't get along). However, if you are a fan of creativity and the fantastic meeting of egos, minds and music to put on a show, you might dig it. If you are even slighty entertained by the bizarrely idiosyncratic, perhaps even spastic, behavior of a front man such as Mick Jagger, then you must see it.





"Am I hard enough? Am I tough enough?"....This, from a man that looks like he would blow away if I sneeze on him, yet you believe it. I believe it and we say unequivocally: "Yes."

Go see it.

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Where'd my show go?


Signs from the set that your favorite TV show might not be coming back (ever):


1) Lead actor is now being played by Tom from Accounting Services


2) Crucial scene on a shipwrecked boat, with thunderous sound effects supplied by rattling aluminum sheet metal (a'la "my quarter life" cast)


3) Singing competition now sponsored by (and featuring) Cold Stone Creamery employees.


4) Shot in Fisher-Price Pixelvision.


5) Actors actually take bathroom breaks in the show.


6) The Fed Ex courier just "discovered", and triple charactered as the new diabolical villain/ compassionate kids counselor at local homeless shelter/ UPS Guy-"What Can Brown do for you?"


7) Love triangle now scripted down to just one character's search for Nintendo Wii


8.) The "refreshment cart" is no longer a cart, but rather a musty-smelling tray of half opened gift baskets from past Jewish holidays.


9.) Wardrobe is being described as BYO.


10.) The "b-story" has been rewritten to make sense of all (4) characters on the show now carrying Coke Zero's while wearing GMC mesh hats and saying "Google" every 32.1 seconds.


Oh....It's good to be home. I see Kathy Lee is back, men are pregnant, and Carly did Dolly.


What's on tonight?!