Ryan is a special color of tan tonight. I have to admit, I have much greater interest in Obama's primary action, but I cannot open myself up to the lashings I will get for not posting on the Andrew Lloyd Weber show. Upon the announcement of this, my husband dropped his shoulders and said: "Oh man...why can't they play "Real" music?" That was funny. This is real music.
Enter stage right:
Side note 1: I've decided, I am going to use my hands like Lord ALW. I will connect all my finger tips in a loose hand-cage like position.
Syesha Mercado sang "One rock n roll too many." I want to stand on a piano! The only time I hear this kind of music is on the "Backyardagains". Randy thought it was her "best performance." I want a "happy place" too!
Side note 2: Ryan pronounced Pussycat dolls as "PoooCee-cat dolls." He put the emPHAsis in the wrong SYLLable.
Jason Castro sang "Memories". Not all men should try all white outfits. I wont say it again, but I picture strange things sitting on the stool. It sounded a bit like Enrique and Cat Stevens fused into a scary karaoke moment. There's no whining in CATS!? Sorry. I love him, but that meat wasn't accenting the au jus. I wonder if his hair smells like meat or au jus? Simon said "You were miserable throughout, I was partly miserable throughout."
Brook White sang "You must love me." I love her dress. Um...she forgot the lyrics!? I guess its cool that she really doesn't get the "game-time" moment of being on national television for millions of us watching. She is human. I love her, but I fear we know more about her anxieties and humanness than her vocal ability. If she were a cartoon, she is a quickly-beating, sweaty heart with little thin white legs and curly Blondie hair...like an m&m.
David Archuleta sang "Think of me." Andrew Llyod Weber told him to open his eyes. I am telling him to not lick his lips, but he won't listen to either of us. He just squints like my husband pretending to watching a girly-movie with me. This is what it sounded like to me: "whisper sing, run, run, whisper sing, run, longer run, bongo drum, whisper run. Not for me. At least he doesn't wax his eyebrows and have an orange tan. (yet) Randy said "This boy is the one to beat!" They love him. Wait...Maybe Simon and I are kindred.
Carly Smithson sang "Superstar". She sounds like Mini Driver in the consignment store with Matt Damon during her package. BRING ME ANOTHER MAI-TAI! (kidding) She can sing so well Jesus Christ sounds hip. Oh yeah. She has a paisley in the shape of a uterus and ovaries in perfect placement. Immaculate. Simon said "It was one of my favorite performances of the night." Really? Did he have more than one?
David Cook sang "The Music of the Night." He completely sounds like amazing. He hit the best note of the night, and set spines on fire across the lazy couch-potato AI fan base. Has anyone listened to the words: "Touch me. Trust me....let your darker side give in." When a man says that to me...I shiver a little. David Cook wins American Idol in 2008.
There you have it kids and grandma's. Castro or White is out like Seacrest...I have to go see what the polls are telling us about our future here on this beloved Earth day. Be good. Be safe. Be Brave.
Touch me...Trust me...
No comments:
Post a Comment