Book Review: Lotus Eaters

Okay. Here we go, what's it been? Eight months? More...who cares. I have spent my time doing many a thing, none-of-which I am particularly in the mood to share. However, In some twist of events, or rather my halting writer's block, I have been reading a book a week. The latest book to move me was The Lotus Eaters by Tatjana Soli.

I had seen this book a few times and passed over it, skimming the back, having no interest in war. One day, as I was longing for more than my usual chick-lit pop, I opened the book with the interest in love triangles. (That is how People Magazine had described it in a blurb.) This book is more than three lovers. Although their passion and pulling and pushing does bring a reader to the brink. It is so much more. Set in the late sixties and seventies in Saigon and all over Vietnam during the war- the landscape is breath-taking.

The main character is a young, female photography with a secret mission to understand warand the loss of her brother and father. Through her eyes you encounter the very grey line between the enemy and the nationalist and the voyeurs looking to make some money on the carnage. She falls in love with a weathered (Rob Redford-type in my head) photojournalist, assimilates quickly and faces unspeakable truths of a country and it's people I knew nothing about. Throughout her disillusionment, I found that I was carried away in the mist and muck of the adrenaline rush of war and fear and love.

The story unfolds and lays out with tension and suspense and aching heart. I couldn't put it down. I am embarrassed to admit I didn't know much about the Vietnam war other than the award winning movies Hollywood made. This book is thoughtful in its depiction of the waste of war, the addiction of one's passion, the hole of loss and the beauty of love.

Hold onto your heart and brace your stomach. This book will not disappoint.

Be like Edward Cullen. You will be rewarded!!!

Okay. So here's the deal. If you are pretentious, have something against teen slobber lust or can't stand vampires, go ahead and double click the little "X" on the top right hand corner. I am going to ooze and sigh and deep breathe and flush and spread my love for a book character like smooth nutela on a warm open bagel. God help me I am only on book three...(in a week). My poor family can only handle so much abandonment.

I am your (un)average middle class mother of two living in a nice neighborhood full of good looking people going to the gym, work, driving our SUV's, being civilized and "grown up" but something has made its way through the channels of play dates, and carpool lines...that thing...is "Twilight". (guffawww, go ahead) ((gasp if you must!)) I was a skeptic. Truly. I made fun of a friend of mine: in her late 30's, child psychologist, hates scary movies- for getting truly giddy over these books. Literally, she would take in deep inhales with a squeaky sound a glisten in her eyes. I must admit, since reading about Edward Cullen, I glisten in different places. (wink wink).

Short and sweet. The book IS about teens. It IS about vampires, but it has this fluidity and complexity that seems to be far more heart-unearthing than I remember being able to process as a teenager. Edward is the epitome (hence, written by a woman) of everything any woman with a heartbeat would want....

He is brooding and dark, aloof and distant, but absolutely intense when his full attention is focused on a subject. (in my dreams its me, and god help me I turn to mush in my ...that's not telling you HALF of it) He is over 100 years old in the solid and chiseled body of a 17-year old...which by the way, makes it illegal, but whose really paying attention? That is what clenches the deal. His wisdom and level-headed selflessness mixed in with teen pheromones and unabated sexual tension.(double sigh) He uses old English and has sweet smelling breath that makes his prey dizzy. I picture the smell of a man's dorm room with sweet familiarity of home-cooked bread. He is attentive and dangerous, jealous and protective but time has made him reasonable. He is tormented and ever present.

My husband would argue that a man that watches you sleep should be reported to the local police department, and a man that says: "I don't want to exist without you" is codependent, and possibly, but let's stay with the fantasy. The agony of him wanting her, in a lascivious way, in a primal way, and his restraint. (sigh). Every woman wants to be indispensable, distracting to a man to the point of frustration and then on top of it, loved to a degree unmeasurable by our emotional minds.

I say this. If Edward Cullen existed out there, I would do crazy things...unimaginable things to please, torture and envelope him. I actually picture myself metamorphosing into a feline-like Victoria Secret angel all in one fall swoop of his heavy hand and overfilled eyes. BRING IT ON. If any of you out there can replicate his demeanor, capacity for dark subtle wit, humor and permeable hotness...I. AM. YOURS.

Did I go on too long? Like a star-crossed teen? I know, I know...Ive lost my mind. But life is longer, weeks can be monotonous and if I get a guilt-free cheap thrill dreaming that my own personal Edward will appear ...OK, I will stop and get back to my book(s).

"The Beach House": A Review, an interview and a warm and human story of happy endings.

There is nothing like the prospect of a good, beachy, warm-weather read. A treat in a book that will keep you looking forward to the still moments that allow you to devour a story, and its characters. If you are lucky, a good summer-book presents a feeling of contentment in your own life, even if only through minor identifications. Best selling chick-lit author, Jane Green has done it again.

I always say books choose you. I also always find myself reading more than one at a time, which makes for very interesting takes on all of them. I finished Jane Green's The Beach House while reading a clinical book on commitment phobia. Funny how that works. A few of the complicated characters in her latest novel served as role-plays or even demonstrations of the very psychology-heavy, almost text-book like pages of my other book. Jane does her research, that is for sure.

Over the years I have read seven of Jane's books. All of them made me laugh, or cry or want to get down-right lascivious. She has a subtle way of unraveling a character to you; presenting them as if through one lens, only to shake up a story with life's mishaps and fortunes. I remember reading "Jeminia J" and realizing that I actually got butterflies vicariously anticipating the first meeting of the lead character and her crush. Her words conjured up the actual feelings of unrelenting desire.

Similarly, the stories often refold and unfold; changing the shape of the character's human condition. Almost as if she opens a fictional person to you like a reflection of water..a little distorted, and fluid in concept, but always with awareness of oneself. That isn't easy. It is almost so human, that it requires incredible technical skill to allow for a reader to come to such realization through words on their own without being obvious. (I loathe obvious-staters)

After an interview with Jane, it became incredibly clear that she is candid and unapologetic, yet kind and unpretentious. When asked about "Jeminia J" she snickered that type of laugh that shrugs off the vulnerability to judgement and says:

"I was stuck in Santa Monica and absolutely miserable because I had just started this raging affair with somebody in New York who was from London..."

In an instant she had disarmed us all. To see her full back story for it, you can read the article written up in Marie Claire Magazine.

The idea of non-judgement is a good basis for the several unraveling story lines in "The Beach House". It is a story of several intrinsically valuable people stumbling through their own missteps. It is a story of "coming home" to yourself through interacting with others, and being less reactionary. One of the main characters is a native Nantucketer in her sixties. Faced with some financial woes, she decides to let her house out to vacationers. All types of emotional relationships are navigated within the walls and property of this house. It almost feels Shakespearean. A mother and her teenage daughter, dealing with divorce, a commiment-phobe and his needy girlfriend, a husband and wife dealing with big secrets and one's aching need to live free of them.

Perhaps it was her articulate descriptions of the Nantucket mindset that allows for all these near-strangers to accept and learn about each other without judgement. I won't give too much away, but it feels like a cozy warm summer night where inhibitions, and perceptions and need for approval almost dissipate into the condensation of the ocean. People learn themselves by their tying bond...being human, and wanting to improve.

When I asked Jane to explain with whom she most identified with in the characters she described her self as "softer". She went on to say:

"I think that’s probably motherhood. I think motherhood changed me in ways I could have never have anticipated. And one of those ways is no longer being afraid to show vulnerability. So I think there's a little bit of me in all of the characters."

It was quite fascinating to hear that she, being a mother, has to sequester herself at a library (never for more than 4 hours at a time) to truly produce pages. It was inspiring to learn how she is able to turn everyday life circumstances into these intricate stories that move people. She rented a house in Nantucket and ran with this book idea. She saw a woman on the beach and conjured up the multi-layered depth of "Nan". I could hear in her voice that she cherishes motherhood, and the freedom of writing and letting go of the past. Her sense of peace was palpable in the interview.

Overall, Jane Green seems incredibly fair and wisely accepting of people and life as it happens (which is usually quite unexpected and messy). When asked what she thought of bloggers she was gracious and complimentary, but also warned that

"it’s often done without thought to the impact the words may have, and that would be my only criticism. I mean I just sort of urge people to think about what they're writing, because once it’s out there, you can’t take it back."

She then went on to describe an instance when she wrote about Christie Brinkley's divorce for the Huffington Post (ahem, I'm sure mine was an example of what NOT to write) and got hundreds of comments about how "judgemental" she was being. It is a slippery slope anytime you put your thoughts out there. I am soaking slick, I imagine. She went on to explain:

"But when you think you're being responsible, you're writing about something you believe in, you're editing it as you go along, you're checking that you haven’t written anything that could be perceived as inflammatory or contemptuous, and it still is. There's only so much you can do. I mean if you put yourself out there, you're going to get feedback and not all of it is going to be good."

Well, readers....the feedback for "The Beach House" has been quite fantastic...."good "would be an understatement. I'm not going to say the book will change your life, or leave you kneeling in awe of your own epiphanies, but it just might make you more aware of that inner voice you have begging you to be more gentle. It might send you to craigslist searching for a cottage on Nantucket, or hunting down your own journey to understanding that happy endings are always there, you just have to be willing to find them.

This is a book that dives into a multitude of human conditions of the heart and ego. This is a book that will let you take deep breaths of faith in fate and full circles. Read it. Enjoy it. Be Happy.

For this book or information on all her others, visit Jane Green's website.

Go on get happy! Wisdom nuggets from Dr. Dyer.

I am a firm believer that books CHOOSE you. Right now, due to my commitment phobia (I can only "finish" a book, if I am reading more than one at a time) I am reading a clinical book on commitment conflicts (tee hee), Jane Green's The Beach House, and I picked up this little bad boy of happy thoughts yesterday and finished it in an hour.

"Everyday Wisdom for SUCCESS" - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. I thought I would share some nuggets of wisdom to start or end your day well. Maybe I saw Tony Robbins on the Today show, maybe I am a cheesy goofball sometimes, or maybe...just maybe these words ring true, and can alter the way you look out at the world, and in at yourself today.

(All quotes below are credited to: "Dr. Wayne W. Dyer")

"Don't equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren't what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don't...you aren't"

"Most people are searching for happiness outside of themselves. That's a fundamental mistake. happiness is something you are, and it comes from the way you think."

"You create your thoughts, your thoughts create your intentions, and your intentions create your reality."

"You'll come to find that anything you must have comes to own you. The funny thing is, when you release it, you start getting more of it."

"If you find yourself believing that you must always be the way you've always been, you're arguing against your own personal growth."

"Involve yourself in high-energy levels of trust, optimism, appreciation, reverence, joy and love when you engage in every activity in your life."

"Know that all the abundance you want is already here. You just have to tune it in."

"Self-worth cannot be verified by others. You're worthy because YOU say it is so. If you depend on others for your value, it is "other-worth".

And......that concludes my spacey, new-agey happy thought pushing posts for this week. I will resume my lascivious lulu persona as soon as I finish being some damn happy from reading this book!

Good things and a Jane Green book.

I can't be certain where it came from, I see Alec Baldwin saying it, and I think it was from Big Daddy; but I love to say it: "Good things." as a sentence, a hope and parting gesture not unlike "good luck." I haven't said it for a long time. Today it came back to me.

Not very many good things have been happening to me, despite my valiant meditation efforts, constant yoga, and job searching. That is not to say bad things are happening. Let's just say my day to day is lacking the semblance of normalcy it once had. Not many things are certain and my future is a bit of newly made water stream winding and eroding its way through the sediment and rock I once knew as "my life". Yep. Character building. Sure.

Almost as if in perfect unison with the laughing gods of will in my life today, I "finished" my funny, chick-lit vacation novel only to find out somewhere in my travels, or during transition from diaper bag, to purse, to briefcase, I lost the last page. The most important page.


I sat quietly on my couch this morning, amber candle burning, feeling indulgent with my time, the sunshine and the last 40 pages of this book. The climactic reckoning of the heroine was coming into place. As all dorks do, I started to get excited and nervous for how her (strangely too similar to my own) life would turn out.

I turn the page....Doh.

Nothing. The last words on the second-to-last page was her friend saying: "Good luck."

It seems only perfectly fitting that I would be left with hours of my most valuable and hard to find commodity-time, in a book that I can not know the ending to RIGHT NOW. Don't think it didn't cross my mind to run out to the book store and devour the last page, but...I'm too lazy and that's a little too crazy. ( even for me and my instant-gratification-need-to-know-now-personality)

So, I will assume good things happened. I will over-identify like I do with everything and see it as some cosmic sign that I need to sit tight, be patient and have faith that things will turn out well. Even if I can't read the last page. Open-ended can break a spirit, but it can leave a world of possibility up for notion.

Fine. You're right. It was just a book. Let's watch the Oscars!

"Rules of the Wild" and Sexy Singing Bodies

I am a firm believer that books pick you. I think I was at a major disadvantage with some of the books that haved picked me. My favorite, all time novel( which I am re-reading for the third time) is "Rules of the Wild" by Francesca Marciano.

My problem is this: This book tackled my love for the secret mini-ecosystem of expatriate life in a third-world country, my love for Africa and my love for men. Never before this book, had I seen words that accurately described how silly my thoughts about men could be. An example below: The lead character describes her first encounter with a German -south African man's-man fixing a jeep before heading out to take a group of vacationers to a camp in Nairobi.

"There are bodies- the majority in fact- which are mute, their purpose merely to transport and protect their contents. Arms and legs have no life of their own, no hints of personality or secret disposition will be revealed by a close study. The main purpose of those bodies without a character is to conceal rather than to express."

"This body here, the body of this man fixing the car- I had to sit down in order to take it all in, it made my legs weak. It didn't talk to me: it sang. Every tiny bone in his wrist, the shape of his fingertips- the whole thing was like a symphony. Suddenly I couldn't bear watching that body another minute unless I could blend into its music. I felt that my anxiety would finally be sedated for good only when that body embraced me and took me in. I wasn't thinking of having sex. I wanted this man I didn't know to make love to me. I knew that if he did there would be fresh air and light at the other end of the tunnel. I knew it by looking at his body, and I knew it by the way he had pronounced my name. "

That is my problem. When I read this, I set a little internal standard by it. I already saw the world of men with a flattering, sultry, golden soft-lens at the very brink of puberity....books like this only qualified my false perceptions...and led me into a romanticized trapse through the fields of men to find my innate physical symphonic match of a man....woops.

Not even my very best reality can live up to my imagination's expectation...

Live and learn. Live and unlearn.

Six-word-memoirs...

This looks good. SMITH Magazine turns a contest into a book!

Mine could be:

Writing career blooms, ends for blog.-L. Notes

What goes up, must come down -L.Notes

Old soul makes same mistakes anyway - L. Notes

Three hundred pages, three novels started. -L.Notes

Check it out:

Never really finished anything, except cake. —C. Perkins

Not quite what I was planning… —S. Grimes

Jew-born. Yeshiva-educated. Date goyim. -A. Ellin

Savior complex makes for many disappointments. —A. Schubach

Found true love, married someone else. -B. Stromberg

Mistakenly kills kitten. Fears anything delicate. —S. Henderson

Bad brakes discovered at high speed. —J. Baumeister

After Harvard, had baby with crackhead. —R. Templeton

Caring for parents. Life is circular. —T. McGrath

Nerdy girl smutmonger. Now, baby fever. —R.K. Bussel

Being a monk stunk. Better gay. —B. Redman