Thursday, July 31, 2008

Lulu Thursday roundup: Last day of July.

Endings stink. Mostly. The morning sun of the last day of July has risen. We are all wide-eyed and in full depth of summer sweaty days. The ice in the fresh lemonade is stacked, slipping into odd shapes of itself and melting. Beaches are still full. Summer camps are winding down and August is upon us.

The Dow has rallied two days in a row, and interestingly enough the experts can't explain why stocks (including the S&P) were surging while crude oil was doing the same. Who knows anymore, I'm convinced the time-depositing MIT students have moved onto bigger, more fun projects like playing the market with daddy's trust funds. You can no longer get the cheese filled deep-fried mushrooms at Bennigans, or for that matter, ANYTHING at Bennigans! They were shut down overnight on Tuesday. Kate Hudson and Lance are supposedly finished with their "summer love" and Lindsay Lohan is still a lesbian, for now. Apparently, Mcain believes that Obama is "not much more than a celebrity" likened to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton. Please.

So here we are. At the beginning of an ending. There is still a good month left before it truly sets in. I say be aware now. Center yourself around the beauty of being too warm, and the need to shed a layer. I say look around and asses what it is you still would like to do, who you'd like to see and make it happen. Throw kindness out to the lonely. Shoot some love out to the masses and wind down into the season of sunshine and barbeque's. Everyone operates on a higher level of productivity and conviction when we realize that every moment is fleeting. Make. It. Count. Now.

Happy last day of July. Spread some love. Get wild and stock up on good-love-vibes to carry you through the inevitable change of seasons.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

10 ways to send them running! Dating Tips.

So, I was walking past a local book store and saw "1001 ways to be romantic". A friend of mine said to me: "Wow, you could write the antithesis to that." I could have gotten offended, but I didn't. He was right. I can be wildy romantic and thoughtful, but most of the time, I am loathing movies like 27 Dresses, or Made of Honor. I like complex instead of harping on that; I will leave you with some of the wild and wacky things that go through my head.

Its much more entertaining for me to dream of hilarious circumstances under which an awkward, crickets-moment would ensue. You can keep the cake, slow-motion kisses and flying doves.

10 ways to send a first date running:

1. Tell him you drive a grease-vat truck. Run your hands through your hair.

2. Say: "Sowhattayathink?" randomly, during silences.

3. Explain how you can only have sex while holding a fan and singing "Jesus loves me yes he does." into it.

4. Talk in baby talk to all waitstaff, hostesses, and bus boys.

5. Ask if you can hold his hand during the entire meal.

6. Tell him that you don't believe in AC, microwaves, or personal hygiene. The good Lord and baby Jesus made you perfect the way you are.

7. Show up in a headress and Abaya. (Common hot weather garb). Show only your eyes. Tell him: "My father got nervous when he saw how many bangles I put on...thought it was too revealing" (lift and dangle wrists)

8. Pull out a toddler portable potty. Set it down next to your table, and explain nothing. Just give him a double thumbs up.

9. Wear nothing but Celine Dion branded clothes. black t-shirt. Jean skirt with her name on back. Celine Dion hat. Make it count.

10. End every sentence with: "Well, who knows...but I can't wait until we snuggle."

Fine. Don't believe it. I am romantic. Just not right now. Well, not that way. Well, what?

Game On! : John Mayer plays on TMZ.

I have never been a huge fan of TMZ. My only exposure has been in the confines of my sister's apartment in the late afternoon "throw-away" hours of NYC recoup time. I have to admit, however, I do laugh. That is why I couldn't pass the opportunity to share the John Mayer reel of "Celebrity". (poor UPS guy).

You have to love the guy for the following reasons:
1. He wears thongs and feels proud to fly in the face (with his nuts) of the Paparazzi.

2. He can sing a cover of Tom Petty's "Free Falling" that makes you question the original...for a second.

3. He dates women like you did in middle school: Carelessly, without any major proof of real feelings, constant denial and elusive jokes, then bad-mouths and berates them when he is done, but not without first writing a wistful, aching love song that over-dramatizes his phantom emotions. (ok...not lovable, but funny).

CLICK HERE FOR VIDEO.It is sure to make you start your Tuesday with a little giggle.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Pet Loss poems: Ode to Scully

For this dear Miss Scully, who gave up her fight one Thursday. May my sister's heart be filled wih the love of 13 years of a bestfriend from puppy paws, to the raised eyebrow of an old-lady dog. Rest in Peace Scully.

The dogs who've shared our lives. In subtle ways they let us know their spirit still survives. Old habits still make us think we hear a barking at the door.Or step back when we drop a tasty morsel on the floor.Our feet still go around the placethe food dish used to be,And, sometime, coming home at night,we miss them terribly.And although time may bring new friendsand a new food dish to fill,That one place in our heartsbelongs to them...and always will. - Linda Barnes

Hello. I've been expecting you for quite some time. Here, come sit beside us for awhile . and let me tell you about this old friend of mine. She might look tattered or maybe old But I won't say goodbye until you've been told. She had the brightest eyes I had ever seen, And wore a beautiful fur coat that would out shine a queen . She was never prissy but walked with an aire ...... And oh so polite, you could take her most anywhere. She could run like the wind and could catch anything she chased But she protected and sat with me when I had problems to face. You could not find a friend nearly so dear. Because no matter the trouble she always stayed near... She has never asked for much from me; Just to love and respect her and I think you'll agree . To give her a good meal plus a nice warm bed is not much to ask ; When she has given me all her love and to her this was no task. Now I understand you have a schedule to keep. But I have a small favor before she nods off to sleep. Please fold your wings around her and let her feel young while in no pain ; Dear Guardian Angel of Pets , please keep her safe and happy until I see her again.

-Ginger Patton

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Mamma Mia! will make your heart soar!

I do a lot of things alone, and at the top of my list is seeing movies in a dark theatre by myself. It is a sweet secret of mine to ditch out in the middle of the day to find a seat in an empty theatre. I see what I want, I don't share my snacks, and I revel in the two hours of throw away time to escape to whatever presents itself before me on the big screen.

Going on a date movie is fine. Going during prime evening show isn't. I am aware of my annoyances. I have the nose of a blood hound. I never enjoy smelling that some one has eaten Indian food for dinner, and the sweet smell of gin or beer that seeps through their skin and into my personal space. I am not a fan of those that make their own commentary on the previews, or the relentless man that feels the need to shake his popcorn before EACH bite. So, instead of asking the world to change the idiosyncratic rituals of movie-watching....I go alone.

Yesterday, I ventured into the large stadium theatre to see Mamma Mia! I was a little skeptical. I loathe ABBA music. I have always found it overly depressing, or too disco tacky. Can the movie live up to the celebrational atmosphere of the musical? I flinched at the previews of my dear "Mark Darcy" (Colin Firth) singing on a sailboat. But it delivered...and then some!

From the first sparkling dock-scene on the shores of Greece to the last frame I was bedazzled. Meryl Streep had explained that she did this movie "for her daughters". On a Today Show interview she explained that she took them to see the Broadway show right after 9/11. When they were on their chairs dancing, she knew this show was something special. It showed. Her talents are almost indescribable. She doesn't only sing well, but she infuses the role with a maternity that cannot be manufactured. In her scene with her daughter, "Sophie"(Amanda Seyfried) she sings ABBA's "Slipping through my fingers" while kissing a cut on her leg. Throughout the song, she sits with Sophie on her lap and paints her toenails, bring me to tears in the wistful homage to the invaluable relationship of mother and daughter, or growing up and moving into womanhood.

The full female cast of choreographed dancing and singing to "Dancing Queen" on the dock is so exuberant and playful, I was nearly jumping out of my seat with pride in my femininity and exhilaration. Women throw off their aprons and toss wooden spoons to the ground to join the parade of women gleefully singing to the water. Again, Meryl finds a way to keep it authentic and uncheesy by sprinkling in her impromptu, unabashed dance movies and air-guitar.

The most awe-inspiring scene was when she sang "The Winner takes it all" to Pierce Brosnan. In an uncanny display of her talents she acts out the pain and embarrassment of lost love. The vulnerability in her motions, and facial expressions are enough, but the very fact that she is singing lines and holding notes sends chills. Her emotions permeate the screen and haunt there way into your soul. I had tears running down my neck.

Overall, the movie translates so well into a cinematic vision that I felt a part of it all. It is a movie of motherhood, of standing alone and raising a daughter. It shines with self-sufficiency and female relationships of youth and of maturity. The mystery of who Sophie's father keeps the story rolling at fast pace, and the comedic and sometimes campy tone make it sugary sweet with possibility and Grecian drama.

Whether you loved the musical, or never knew a thing about it beyond the unforgettable posters in NYC, see it. Let yourself go in the quirky, over-the-top whimsical beauty of seeing romance and parenthood play out before you to the tune of ABBA. I can guarantee that if you open yourself up to the light-hearted, well acted two hours, you will leave feeling grateful of your mother, your daughters, your current loves, and lost ones.

It is all a journey, it is all meant to be the way it is, and this movie reminds you of that.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

The Delano bored me to peace.

I wouldn't recommend traveling to South Beach in July unless you enjoy having a sweaty lip and frizzy hair at all times; however a recent trip down for SWIM Fashionweek proved to be the perfect R&R.

I do everything fast: talk, walk, work, shop, fall in love...but something about this weekend put me in slow-mo. Maybe it was the most incredible Italian cuisine at world-renown Casa Tua Restaurant that put me in a food coma. I have never been to a restaurant that tantalized all the senses. Hidden behind Ivy, and decorated like the inside of a beautiful and inviting home, it welcomes you with the smell of fresh flowers and lemon grass. The entrees and service made merely paying the bill feel like an inadequate gesture. You wanted to hug them with glee, and gratefulness. It could also have been the several Martinis..there is no telling, but the next day I rediscovered the beauty in being BORED.

My sister and I stumbled our way down to the Delano pool, found a comfy terrycloth (shaded) outside bed and remained in a state of people-watching and near-silence from 10am to 5pm. Yes, I objectified our cabana boy named "Gerado" (don't worry, he got 50% tips at all times.) I did try to read my books. We did saunter over to eat enough to sustain us enough for more hours of just laying around.

I had forgotten the beauty in doing NOTHING! I didn't worry, or make lists. I didn't plan what we would do next, or speculate on what my family was doing. Time stood still. The only thing that it existed was our presence in the very, very calm and luxurious "now."

Perhaps that is not what Eckhart Tolle is talking about....wasting an entire day poolside with topless Brazilians and perfectly sculpted Spanish cabana boys, but never has his book title spoke to me more.

The place is dripping with pretense and day-glo, but we didn't even hit the beach, we didn't dress up and hit the "scene". We stayed with the serene and I found the "POWER OF NOW". I stripped off my concerns, fears, obsessions, and stress and dove in. You should too. My new "now" consists of me wrangling a three year old watching "Playhouse Disney".

So it goes and I wouldn't change a thing.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Stevie Nicks sings "Crash" by Dave Matthews!

So, I have to say there are few humans on this earth that I believe have a voice that is, in and of itself, an instrument. Stevie Nicks is one of them.(along with Alison Kraus, Celine Dion, Whitney Houston-pre crack, Van Morrison...) Dave Mathews is another. Tonight, I watched WTTW's SoundStage play part 1 of a concert by Stevie. The very fact that she is still evolving and recognizes both the whimsical lyrics and her ability to bring them to life; astounds me.

She holds a special place in my heart. She is my childhood, I played "Landslide" at my father's funeral. Equally, DMB represents the youthful bravery of falling in love. Coy unabashed, unapologetic lust in a time of coming of age in love, relationships and sex.

Sit back, turn up your computer, and revel in the beauty of Stevie's haunting voice singing the playful words of "Crash" (into me).

"Sweet like candy to my soul; sweet you rock, and sweet you roll....Hike up your skirt and show your world to me..."

Come crash into me. (deep exhale)

Go on get happy! Wisdom nuggets from Dr. Dyer.

I am a firm believer that books CHOOSE you. Right now, due to my commitment phobia (I can only "finish" a book, if I am reading more than one at a time) I am reading a clinical book on commitment conflicts (tee hee), Jane Green's The Beach House, and I picked up this little bad boy of happy thoughts yesterday and finished it in an hour.

"Everyday Wisdom for SUCCESS" - Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. I thought I would share some nuggets of wisdom to start or end your day well. Maybe I saw Tony Robbins on the Today show, maybe I am a cheesy goofball sometimes, or maybe...just maybe these words ring true, and can alter the way you look out at the world, and in at yourself today.

(All quotes below are credited to: "Dr. Wayne W. Dyer")

"Don't equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren't what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don' aren't"

"Most people are searching for happiness outside of themselves. That's a fundamental mistake. happiness is something you are, and it comes from the way you think."

"You create your thoughts, your thoughts create your intentions, and your intentions create your reality."

"You'll come to find that anything you must have comes to own you. The funny thing is, when you release it, you start getting more of it."

"If you find yourself believing that you must always be the way you've always been, you're arguing against your own personal growth."

"Involve yourself in high-energy levels of trust, optimism, appreciation, reverence, joy and love when you engage in every activity in your life."

"Know that all the abundance you want is already here. You just have to tune it in."

"Self-worth cannot be verified by others. You're worthy because YOU say it is so. If you depend on others for your value, it is "other-worth".

And......that concludes my spacey, new-agey happy thought pushing posts for this week. I will resume my lascivious lulu persona as soon as I finish being some damn happy from reading this book!

PAS DE WOA!!! Will and Katee. SYTYCD!

Honestly, this show makes my week. Cat Deely is stunning in gold. Lil C has a way of articulating that inspires me to work on my analogies. Nigel is naughty, and Mary makes me cringe with embarrassment every time she talks, but I love her. I wish she was my kooky aunt. The world wouldn't be the same without her strange excitement.

The Top 10 had a go of it last night. Comfort came back due Jessica's injury. Gev and Chelsea knocked out a contemporary routine to Otis Redding. Comfort and Twitch got "buck" with a hip-hop routine by Dave Scott. And finally, the standout dance of the night was Will and Katee, the sure-fire finalists in a Pa de deux number choreographed by Desmond Richardson, the prettiest looking, most renowned ballet dancer alive today!

Pas De WOA. I love this show. Happy Thursday.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Bumby hump day Lulu Roundup.

Alrighty...This Wednesday is going to be a serious bumpy hump day. The market will be a wild ride after closing at under 11,000 for the first time in two years. Bernanke is gloomy. Bush is "Optimistic" (which is nuts). Crude oil dropped the most in more than a decade yesterday.

The Chicago Tribune's editor Anne Marie Lipinski resigned. The AL won AGAIN at the historic All Star game in Yankee Stadium, so the Cubs won't get home field advantage if they get to the World Series. Iran and a US are talking Nuclear energy. All of it really matters, but in typical Lulu mismatching of relevancy...The top 10 of So You Think You Can Dance! is on tonight, as well as Season 5 of Project Runway!!! It's the little things, especially when all the "big" things are going awry.

As always when everything else seems bleak; I challenge you and myself to send some good energy into the great abysmal space between the carnage of our economy and the ripple effect it is having all over the homes near us all. In the very least let's be nice today. Devote your yoga practice to someone or group you love. Set an intention to be verbally grateful at least once an hour today. Be attentive to your children, or your best friends.

Find the small things to smile about today and just be. Yippee.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Brangelina babies are here...7.12.08

Angelina Jolie welcomed a baby boy (Knox Leon) and a baby girl (Vivienne Marcheline) into the world via a C-section in a Nice hospital late Saturday,July 12th 2008. 6 babies, the pressure to lose the baby weight and Brad Pitt. That is going to be one busy woman. Godspeed...

To read the article click Here

Friday, July 11, 2008

Friday round up and Lulutingle send off.

Ahhhhhhh. It is the end of the week. Jesse Jackson is looking for that nifty "remove foot from mouth for discussing ball-snipping" contraption. (Out from GE soon). Christie Brinkley case is CLOSED. Ethan Hawke married his knocked-up ex nanny. Komfort and Thayne went home last night on SYTYCD. Us Airways is removing in-flight movies and replacing them with old haggard seat dances from the flight staff. The Apple 3G is out today. A Catholic priest "Father Pat" is dishing out tips on marriage profiling to women....there's the answer. If that doesn't work. I deem today CASUAL SEX FRIDAY. Get out there and be casual.

And....I am full of every single emotion possible to the human condition. I went on a random Google search for "positive quotes" and found this one. Every day presents a new possibility to make a choice. Perspective and presence are the two words I challenge you to ponder this weekend.

"Craving the comfort of desired events and outcomes, we ignore the uncomfortable but exhilarating gifts of living life as a continually unfolding process in which all moments are valuable." -Julia Cameron

When in doubt (and for whatever reason, I am in great doubt today) turn your energy into something more useful and giving to the world. So this Friday, I shine my light beam out to the world, to the ones I love, and the ones that I don't. I send a warm wave of concentrated tingle-bots to jump onto you and sizzle through your weekend, and make every fiber of your being stand on end with the electricty of being here now.

Here goes: I raise my weekend glass of half-full to you, shimy-shimy-cocoa pop, scissor shuffle, booty-spin-sway, MC-Hammer open leg bent-knee scoot 'cause its all 2L2Q, jumping jack-air hug.Barefoot dance and sand-kick bounce-bop into the sunshine. Kiss blow!

Get out there and dance happy for no reason, love willingly in the moment, and be brave with positivity.

You have been lulutingled.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Joshua and Katee dance Bollywood: SYTYCD!

Another night, a hair cut for Nigel, and a dressed-down Cat. Mia Michaels was on the judging panel and was in good spirits. Nigel seemed a little frisky, and Mary was endearingly embarrassing as always.

I would be reminisced if I did not share the latest knock-out dance from Joshua and Katee doing a Bollywood-eque dance incorporating hip hop and African dance. I cringed a bit at first, in fear of how it would play out. They nailed it, with knee-spins and "light-bulb changing shoulder pumps".

Take a look:

Just watching it again this morning makes me want bop around smiling with an over animated face and compulsive eyelash batting.

Oh Shiva Shiva. Om Shanti Om.

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Happy hump day? why NOT!?

So..let's see. Iran shot of 9 missles. Matthew McConaughey had a son. Crude oil dropped 8 dollars in 2 days. (nice) Everyone and their lovers are breaking up...Madonna, A-rod, Drew Barrymore, Kate Moss...I think we need to collectively have a hand holding, group hug.

I can't tell where the flood of relationship news is coming from? Is it out insatiable need to hear about the love-carnage that feeds the demand? Is the onset of online sites, blogospheres, and cable television just allowing for more media space to throw the love lives of others out to us? I can't tell. I do know...its not looking good for old-mother marriage.

I wont preach about the beauty and safety and compromise and challenges of marriage. Maybe some other time when you feel like taking a nap. But for now, I want to send a ripple of hope for love and relationships into the ether. There IS something incredibly intoxicating about falling in love or lust or friendship. There is something profoundly exhilarating in finding someone you WANT to learn about, and consume like a blue-Ice Slurpee. Fast and furiously, even if the speed of it all causes a dizzying numbness of sensation and clouds your decisions.

If we are realistic, we know that fades. We expect it to. (hopefully) and it turns to the sustainable calm of knowing that person you learned. Maybe you play silly games in front of the TV like screaming numerical scores of "awkwardness" during The Bachelorette finale? Maybe you sing dirty-sex songs to childrens tunes because nothing you say can shock that person anymore? You realize that you are not alone. You have some one to pick on, and pick up.

Nothing worth having is easy, no one worth loving is perfect and all that we strive for is to find a place within ourselves to feel free and connected with equanimity. Let go of the lists you hold. Let the guards you keep up, fall. Love fails. Marriage is a leap of faith that can turn into a big fat decent into boredom and struggle, but nothing is gained if you don't try, or give, or prepare that you might get taken. You might find, that loving yourself is compounded when you share that feeling with someone.

Take a deep breath. Look around. Be open. Hold your heart with kind hands knowing right now (suspense sucks) that you have a 50% chance of F8cking it all up no matter how hard you try.

The moral here is....never try.

..just kidding. (wow this post is polar)


Sunday, July 6, 2008

Shower the people you love...

You know those days you wake up and the birds feel like they are chirping and singing for you? The sky is penetrating warmth and blue brightness in a direct line to your heart? No reason, just the way it is...Today is one of those, and like everything. I share it.

10 things to be happy about today:
1. Deciding that what the little metal machine (scale) says CANNOT and DOES NOT have a say in how you feel about yourself. That is for YOU to decide. Decide to feel great today.

2. Learning something little about someone you love that you never knew.

3. Adirondack chairs.

4. Those small moments in between big and busy holiday weekends when the world stills for a nano-second for you to take a deep breath and enjoy the beauty in connectivity... with friends, family, and the outdoors.

5. Sparklers and the smell of docked boats and diesel.

6. Van Morrison or Al Green coming through a speaker....and that involuntary need to grab someone and dance.

7. brownies.

8. The soft tingle of the sun on your face.

9. Sam Adams summer ale.

10. Laughing. Loving. Letting go. Letting it be. Even if only for a long weekend.

Get out there, where ever you are and savor the last day of this long weekend.

Be "in it" and let it carry you through on the ether of relaxation, good times, and good summer.
Happy Sunday!

Saturday, July 5, 2008

My new crush: Don Draper of AMC's Mad Men....

Holy Smokes! I have a new crush! Jon Hamm plays the incredibly elusive "Don Draper" in AMC's series (set for season 2, July 27th) MAD MEN. The show is a stylized series that takes a look at the "golden age" of Ad-men on Madison Avenue in NYC.

It follows the lives of Don Draper and his immediate stratosphere; the young executives vying for his creative director position, and the women that feed and whittle his ego on this journey. It is compelling, moving, well written and seductively intriguing. It unravels the facade of 1960's family model and delicately tip-toes the issues at hand for men (gay and straight), women and the slowly collapsing square pegs that held this country's prude and suffocating deceptions of "happiness".

Let me begin with the perfect creation of Matt Weiner, Don Draper: the slick and charming, smooth talking, slogan-filled lead creative director of Sterling Cooper. He is a fictional character of a dying breed of man. He has deep lost eyes that are driven by ego and the shocking reality that fantasy can create the perception of happiness and beauty….and so he does. Create it.

There is humility to him. The purple heart you saw in his office, allows you to forgive that he also keeps at least three starched white shirts in his desk drawer. His distant, but genuine concern for a deeper understanding of himself and women gives him a depth.

In the pilot episode he reprimands a "young gun" for berating a new secretary: "..and you will be in middle management, in the corner office with a little hair and women will go home with you because they pity you. That is because no one will like you." (PIZOWWWWWW!)I love this guy.

He gets work advice from his lover and muse and joked that they should marry. She replies: "You know I don't make plans". Only later in the show did I realize he was already married! To a stunning and struggling wife, played by January Jones.
Matt Weiner finds the grace in walking the wire with the misogyny and accepted behavior of all of the male characters. Even the women.

At one point, Joan(Christina Hendricks) says to Peggy
(Elisabeth Moss): "The good men that made this, made it easy enough for a woman to use." after uncovering a typewriter. Ouch. I flinched and air punched the sexism right there. When asked by Don: "What makes women happy?" his boss replies: "Who cares?" matter-of-factly. Double ouch. Divorce drives down property value, women hide emotions, and yet it feels entirely human, and unoffensive.

I know I have "issues". Save the pity or the psycho-analysis. Done it. Don't care...I always have one-foot in the clouds, I'm always attracted to a man that demands attention, carries his enormous power with quiet calm, and magnetically pulls you in with false vulnerability wrapped up in the dark and mysterious charm of word-magic and big hands. Yep...I truly would do just about anything Don Draper requested. Good thing he is fictitious....He finally answers his own question about what women want...and Dear God, for the love of Nixon, he is right.

At one point he says: "Fear stimulates my imagination." Like I said...Holy smokes. I want to put the FEAR in this man.....Now, where is my conical brassiere?

To take a look at some footage from Season one click HERE.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Mia Michaels morphs your mood: Katee and Josh dance to Adele.

Last night was a new moon and another episode of "So you think you can dance."Cat Deely wore a penguin tux-like suit dress and looked silly, but so it goes. Nigel wore a bankers shirt, with a striped pink tie....and was so yummy. I need clinical help to understand my attraction to him! All that aside. I started blogging it last night, then got bored.

...That was before Mia Michaels' routine performed by Josh and Katee. She picked Adele's "Hometown Glory" as the backdrop song. Honestly, I was in the worst mood. Watching this dance, changed that. She actually has the ability to shift the way you FEEL through choreography. That is insane to me. I honestly love her. Total girl crush. She is mean, and moody and dark and loving and capable of interpreting life and translating it into movement.

I know little about technical contemporary dance, but the chaos and fluidity. The musicality and tempo of it was stunning. The scissor kicks from Josh while Katee jumped, the stepping forward and back, the big moments and the "monumental stillness" as Mary described it, was the difference between entertainment, and being affected.

I just want to have a bottle of wine with Mia, hear how her crazy head works, see what she sees. Take a look. Dance fan or not...if this number doesn't give you chills or at the very least make you slow nod...then bugger off. You are an emotionally un-penetratable droid and thereby deemed alien to me.

Okay, that was harsh. But.....Mia makes you want to hug or punch or lick someone....she just does. You know it, she knows it.

Brinkley Divorce Trial: A new low in world relevancy.

Okay. Let's dive in. I am so annoyed with this. Today show, The New York Post, CNN, Huffington Post...really? What is so interesting about this story? Are you really learning anything new here? Supermodel gives marriage a fourth "try" with good-looking playboy; sizzle turns into over-scheduled social calendar and over-indulgent lifestyle boredom. Man seeks validation from PYT's, porn, elastic bands and pig parts...who knows. WHO CARES!?

Do we not have more important news to digest? 62,000 jobs lost in June alone! Fires causing evacuations in California, World aids epidemic, Crude oil prices flying, Mugabe in Zimbabwe, or even some happy uplifting stories about the hostages rescued from, let's hear about a torrid miserable divorce. I hate to say it, but far worse and disgusting things happen, EVERY DAY in divorce courts.Even if you TRY to not feed into it (as I am now) it is everywhere!

I get it. It's nasty. $3k on porn is both stupid (its free) and reckless. An affair with anyone, let alone a minor is begging for trouble. He is gross. He is a man who made a lot of mistakes, and should pay for them on some level, and honestly, there is no doubt he will. But should the kids? Should we? Do all of us have to hear about the poor sad dissolution of marriage between two adults obnoxiously out of reality? I don't think so.

Were you shocked? This reminds me of Eliot Spitzer and his harlot. That sensationalized story pissed me off, but there is a small margin of acceptance because of his public office. We expect more I guess, like with Clinton. (smirk). I am the first to read the eye-catching trash magazines stories, but this feels a little too personal. A little too exploitative for the sake of what? Who wins?

I am a big believer in self-assessment, I have to ask: "What, at the end of the day, does Christie Brinkley gain from making this public?" It doesn't appear that there is a real concern for asset dispersion. She is going to get child-custody, that was in the bag. This is clearly about humiliation.

Everyone knows harboring anger is far harder than resolve and moving on. Vengeance never feels as good as the idea, nor does it provide closure. Most emotionally sound people realize that exposing your children to your contempt and fury changes the way they will behave both in relationships, and to the rest of the world. Mistrust, skepticism, vulnerability, victimization, rebellion...

I can guarantee you MILLIONS of men (and women) around the nation are cleaning out there password protected "special folders" and deleting cookies from their computer, cutting off ties with their online web-cam sights and deleting their profiles at "Monkeys, Horses and big girls".

Sigh. Is nothing sacred anymore? Just another beautiful story selling the singles of the world on the sanctity of marriage. HEEEESUS.

Oh, the human ego, the human heart, the human member...such a foible.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Denmark: If you're happy and you know it....get some Hygge.

Mother, I ask that you brace for this. DENMARK is noted as the "Happiest" country AGAIN. (or its the same study). How is that possible?

They love Limberger and gravad laks on smørrebrød!? Its dark more days a year than it is light, and the one's I have known aren't really your glowing, cheery-types.

My guess:They have lower expectations. I think there is something to NOT chasing the elusive label of ecstatically pleased with yourself and over driven ambition.
Maybe the key IS an understated sense of general acceptance and quiet content with what is? I'd love to see the questions on the "said" survey.

Let's see. Awesome gleeful things about Denmark:

1. Pride and interest. People actually are involved in their country ( 90% vote in elections)

2. All children can read and write. Compulsary educatin is free.

3. "Hygge" is a key part of the Danish way of life; it means focusing on forgetting daily problems and enjoying the simple things in life.

4. They celebrate the pea.

5. Beer. Morning, noon and night. Seriously. Go see. All day. No 12 o'clock rule there.

6. Sexual anything and social tolerance....Probably the most UNPRUDE (outside of sweden) country I have ever seen. (same-sex marriage was legal in 1989)

7. Hello LEGO? There is a sign. They invented some plastic geometric shapes that simply "click" together. How is that for easy pleasey fun?

8. Um...they make BEAUTIFUL people: Helena Chistensen,Connie Nielson...

9. They can speak with mere breath (inhalation = yes)

10. Over 50% Taxes. If you can't get rich, why try?

I couldn't pass up the chance to laugh a little at it. Danes.....happiest....Who'd a thunk it?

Maybe we should all just look around. Take a deep breathe. Mentally list out the vast beauty of things we have: our health, simplicity of choice, the will of perception, love, wits, opportunity and the chance to live out yet another day.

When I think of it that way....."Jeg er en heldig kartoffel!"

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

10 reasons I LOVE business trips! (his, not mine)

July is here. I love the beginning of a month. It always signifies the start of something. A fresh take, a clean palette. Today is the second day in a short week that signals summer in full swing everywhere. I have an extra twinkle in my eye because I had the house to myself last night. It may sound boring or like a daily event for some of you, but its PRECIOUS in my world.

I literally feel like a 13 year old left home-alone for the first time. I want to go and jump on the beds, and the couches and stuff my face with popcorn and cookie-dough, and call everyone I know, and cartwheel and spin until I'm dizzy and eat ice-cream from the pint while laughing at chic-flicks and drinking wine like a waterfall into my Don't get me wrong. I love my family...but boy do I love ALONE TIME.

10 fantastic things about Business trips (his, not mine):

1. Lighting every girly candle in the house making it smell like a stifling cross of Crab tree and Evelyn and a rose petal bath tub.

2. Not eating dinner, because who cares? I'm not hungry.

3. Reading a book with the TV OFF! (Hell, reading a book is awesome enough)

4. Talking on the phone for up to 3 hours straight. Talking like a valley-girl and laughing out loud like a fourteen year old on Ritalin because no one can hear.

5. Getting out of bed in the morning and it looks nearly undone.

6. No snack wrappers to collect from the arm-chair side table, the office desk, the dinner table. No paper towels stuffed in a glass of milk that have to be pulled out, sopping and thrown in the trash. No dishes to move from the counter top (right by the sink) into the dish-washer....I know, I went too far. BUT ITS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NICE.

7. Watching a "cry-movie" like "Terms of Endearment", "Hope Floats", "Ya-Ya", "Waitress" or the best: "Out of Africa" for the tenth time.

8. Sleeping naked just to SPITE him and feel single again. (haaaahHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!)

9. The silence.

10. The revelry in knowing that "me"-time is invaluable, family is irreplaceably fulfilling and the tiny spaces between the two are the magic that makes the lack of one be appreciated for the other.

Princess yawns, smuggles lemons into bed.

This is not going to turn into a site about my child, but this first day of July started so sweetly...I would normally be annoyed that my 3-yr old woke up at 5:30am, but because she lit up the monitor with a gusty and relieved: "AAAAAAAhhhhhhh" with perfect princess tone and inflection, I was tickled.

I went to get her and she did it again, this time with arm-stretching, fake yawn movements. I threw the window shade open to let the sunlight beam through and sparkle off of her pink and green walls. "White Rabbits! White Rabbits! White Rabbits!" I said. (This is a superstition that I keep. They must be the first words from your mouth, on the first day of the month, to ensure great luck.)

"NO! Lemons!" she screams with a smile. "What? I said white rabbits." I say with a hand on my hip (conversations we have could fill a loony bin)

"Lemons! Lemons! Lemons!" she reiterates while pulling back her bed covers. And there they were. This little girl had 3 plastic decorative lemons in her bed. I have no idea how, I have no idea why, but in the land of toddlers and my makes sense.

"Obviously, what was I thinking?" I say.

"You thought white rabbits silly mommy, its just me and lemons." she clarifies.

Other hilarious things my mini is saying:

"Bizzerk" = Dessert. ie: "Can I have some bizzerk?"

"Prackissing" = Practicing. ie: "You can't clap now! I'm just prackissing!"

"Barak Omama" = You get it. Anytime his name is on the news...she stops what she is doing and yells "BARAK OMAMA!" then tucks her chin, tilts her head and waits with a wry smile for someone to laugh.

And July begins.