Sunday, February 24, 2008

Good things and a Jane Green book.

I can't be certain where it came from, I see Alec Baldwin saying it, and I think it was from Big Daddy; but I love to say it: "Good things." as a sentence, a hope and parting gesture not unlike "good luck." I haven't said it for a long time. Today it came back to me.

Not very many good things have been happening to me, despite my valiant meditation efforts, constant yoga, and job searching. That is not to say bad things are happening. Let's just say my day to day is lacking the semblance of normalcy it once had. Not many things are certain and my future is a bit of newly made water stream winding and eroding its way through the sediment and rock I once knew as "my life". Yep. Character building. Sure.

Almost as if in perfect unison with the laughing gods of will in my life today, I "finished" my funny, chick-lit vacation novel only to find out somewhere in my travels, or during transition from diaper bag, to purse, to briefcase, I lost the last page. The most important page.

I sat quietly on my couch this morning, amber candle burning, feeling indulgent with my time, the sunshine and the last 40 pages of this book. The climactic reckoning of the heroine was coming into place. As all dorks do, I started to get excited and nervous for how her (strangely too similar to my own) life would turn out.

I turn the page....Doh.

Nothing. The last words on the second-to-last page was her friend saying: "Good luck."

It seems only perfectly fitting that I would be left with hours of my most valuable and hard to find commodity-time, in a book that I can not know the ending to RIGHT NOW. Don't think it didn't cross my mind to run out to the book store and devour the last page, but...I'm too lazy and that's a little too crazy. ( even for me and my instant-gratification-need-to-know-now-personality)

So, I will assume good things happened. I will over-identify like I do with everything and see it as some cosmic sign that I need to sit tight, be patient and have faith that things will turn out well. Even if I can't read the last page. Open-ended can break a spirit, but it can leave a world of possibility up for notion.

Fine. You're right. It was just a book. Let's watch the Oscars!

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