Sunday, February 24, 2008

Weird has gradations

There are things men do that can be divided into two categories. I was standing in the checkout line at Whole Foods picturing a few of them and thought I'd share.

So weird it's funny:
-He can sing all lyrics to Lisa Loeb's "Stay". Especially when he loses his breath and goes high pitch on: "Your only hearing neg-a-tive."

-In the most clinical of situations, he refers to your anatomy with one of the following words: "box" "tootooafoo" or "meat curtains" just to keep things "light".

-He has to eat all things on his plate in alphabetical order, with defaults in a pre-existing color scheme order. What do you do with Oatmeal, brownies, granola and wheat pasta...all on one plate?

Too scary to claim as an oversight:
-He likes to wear his towel around his torso, tucked under his armpits, with dangling parts for all the world to see.

-His second-life avatar is a billionaire with lots of friends.

-You have no children but he wants to call you "mommy".

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