Tuesday, December 9, 2008

In an elevator...DO THIS.

I was in an elevator earlier today and I found myself pondering what a strange circumstance it is that we all accept into our daily routines. It even has little rules of behavior, and we nod or smile when people follow them, or get disapproving when they don't. I began to think of all the things that could go wrong in the elevator. I know, I know, Greys Anatomy would have you believe all elevator rides are full of suppressed sexual tension. I remembered the strange intimacy of riding an elevator multiple times a day to the 21st floor in my Chicago condo building and the many MANY times I wanted to do something outrageous just to shock people. Then...I found this...and someone already thought of all of them for me at http://www.geocities.com/skrelborn/elevator.html

1. Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head.

2. Shave.

3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"

4. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

5. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.

6. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"

7. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.

8. . When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "is that your beeper?"

9. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

10. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

11. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.

12. Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

13. Call out, "Group hug!" then enforce it.

14. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.

And....that concludes my silly funny list share for today.

No joke. Once a week I get the Aerosmith lyrics stuck in my head. ( I do not own the music file, CD or tape) "Love in an EL-A-VA-TOR....Livin' it up, when I'm GOIN' DOooooown...." Bizarre.

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