Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Diana Ross is my mother!

Okay, This is not the first time anyone has heard this particular breed of conspiracy theory, but tonight my sister reminded me ( while watching the KCH awards): I am the love child of Diana Ross and my father. No offense, mom. Really. But who can deny these facts:

1.) The timing works out perfectly. I'm 30. She is....old enough to have a 30 yr old. The year I was born she won 7 AMA's. How could she claim me?! She was so busy! I love the number seven...Spooky.

2.) She divorced in 1977, and was "single" for a little while. She was then scene with a skinny, goofy African-Arab engineer one late December night in Knights bridge. She then ( get this) married a Norweigan dude in the 1980's, who happens to be my mother's twice-removed cousin: Arne Neass Jr. and ( double get this) I LOVE his daughter ( my sister) Leona Naess's music! See?!

3.) I present the below pictures. Which one resembles me more?

4.) Let's take a gander at me ( the early years). Note the hair explosion on my head, and the cleavage! Hm...

5.)I have always been an attention monger, and at the ripe age of about 5, I stated it. Claimed it. Even recited/imitated her. Diana Ross is my mother.

Stop in the name of love....Think it over.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Did anyone ever say only one mother allowed????? Nah-ah. Have as many as necessary--and rock on my daughter!