Saturday, December 1, 2007


"Pep-dig" (n.): an insult that temporarily makes you feel like you were on the civil, or even flattering side of a conversation, but ends in your imminent self-consciousness.

You know what I am talking about. I have met a many genius at dispensing such mini-time-delayed mental explosions. Ticking time-bomb comments.

A few examples:

The lightly-veiled insult:
o "You will totally get published, there are tons of horrible authors out there."

The over the top (obviously not true) patronizer:
o "Oh, honey, of course I think you are the best lover I've ever had, ever.

The end-around upswing:
o "Hey Mike, Thanks for asking that, which reminds me: There is no such thing as a stupid question. We are going to go with Jim's idea though. He's just really on his game. Appreciate the effort though..."

The passive agressive, fake apology:
o "Did you pick the wine? Oh....I just thought, maybe you...nevermind. It's nothing, I should have chosen, that's all. You don't even like wine. Sorry."

The intended compliment:
o "You remind me a lot of my ex-girlfriend, but you have different bodies, well...(awkward pause) you have the same kind of hair. But, she was pretty. You are pretty. That's what I am saying."

The faux-fashion question:
o "Wow, I didn't know they made skinny jeans in your size?"

The "For a" dig:
o "Seriously, you look great for a mom."
o "No, I think that's really impressive for a girl your age."

Stop it. Go be nice.

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