Tuesday, February 19, 2008

10 ways to ensure you don't get a second date:

I think it would be a perfectly funny short film to watch a woman go on multiple first dates and do the following. See how forgiving, or accepting men can be....at the very least it would be entertaining:

1. Just stare and say nothing. I mean nothing. (Maybe nod)

2. Dismiss your rehab stint as a relocation package from your "product-testing" job.

3. Say: "I think you will love my mother, she might still be up when we get to my place."

4. Cry for absolutely no reason every time he gets within 3 inches of any part of your body.

5. Randomly, and with great fervor, name ex boyfriends.

6. Every ten minutes say: "now what?"

7. Be dead honest: "I don't want to work, I am really mean once every four weeks, I will blame you for everything, and I think we should go to therapy now."

8. While ruffling through your purse, pull out a Monistat 3 cartridge, a pack of cigarettes and some beano. Then say: "God, I can't find my wallet; I must have left it at the bath house.

9. Ask him if he believes in love at first sight, and then say: "awe. I love you too." (No matter what his answer)- Don’t laugh.

10. Show him the promise ring your dad gave you that you still wear.

I've got the video camera....Who’s in?!

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