American Idol Top 12 roundup: Lennon/McCartney

So here we are. Top 12, 2 hours, Simon looks like, well...let me create some imagery. Have you ever had a pet, that had to have a surgery and the area ( lets say belly) had to be shaved, and then covered in iodine? That's what Simon looked like. He and Ryan have started their tit-tat I-hate-you chit chat. The theme tonight is John Lennon and Paul McCartney songs. Pure entertainment. Let's get to it.

Syesha Mercado sang "Got to get you into my life". I think it stinks to start out the pack on Top 12 week. She was Ok. It felt a bit panicked. Randy thought she was thinking too much. ( who wouldn't be?)

Chekieze sang "She's a woman". He "smashed it" as Randy said. The song started out with a blue-grass, kick your shoes off, and rub some thumb up a washboard type sound, and ended with rock. It was actually really inventive. Who'd a thunk it? Not me.

Ramiele Mulubay sang "All the friends" . It was lame and boring. This my teens, is what happens when you sacrifice a one in a million chance to sing on national television to 30 million people on a BFF moment with the fellow-fallen AI contestants that got kicked off last week. Youth shows lack of judgement. The girl can blow, but it was boooooooring tonight. She is the tormented teen angst miss-guided. That covers half of us.

Jason Castro sang "If I fell". First off...can I pay someone to take a small scalpel to his eyelids and procure his eyelashes for me? He did a good job, it felt like a cheesy-teen concert moment at a one-man-boy-band show. He is good. Better than that performance. I'm rooting for him. We'll see.

Carly Smithson sang "Come together." I think she actually did the "grape-vine" from 1989 aerobics. (nice) She can sing. She can really sing. When she hits the big notes and shakes her voice she sounds so much like someone from the 1990's. I want to say Toni Childs but it isn't. Wow. This will make me nuts. Comment if you smell what I'm steppin' in. Name it. Alana Davis? Damnit. Help me.

David Cook sang Eleanor Rigby. He had a collar-malfunction.The judges loved him. Randy said: "You can rock it!" and Paula said he was the "front man" on American Idol.

Brooke White sang "Let it be". She sang the song truly and got pretty swept up in the moment. Simon thought it was one of the best performances of the night. She is going to bring FOLKSY back. Yeah. How ironic. Folk gets mainstream, not by Facebook or Myspace...but worse...American Idol. ( boooo). I am a whore to TV culture. Dish it, I most likely, will swallow (oh stop. Grow up)

David Hernandez sang "Saw her standing there". I predict an affair between him and Marc Anthony. I do. You heard it first from Lulu.He was good too. He sings a bit like Nell Carter in this song, like a nasal passage was purposely blocked. Randy said: It was a little too overdone."

Amanda Overmyer sang "You can't do that". Um...yeah, she killed it. I am not a big Janis Joplin-biker-chick-skunked-out-trucker-talkin' fan, but she really did a great job. It is amazing what she can do with it. I am thoroughly impressed. And...she kept her teeth ( and the space between them!)

Michael Johns sang "Across the universe". Ha! I saw his O-face! Incredible song choice. He sang with heart, and I couldn't help but get chills. He puts an Eddie Vedder spin on so many notes. Maybe he watched Into the Wild too? It was good, not his best. Randy even said: "Its a little sleepy."

Christie Lee Cook sang "8 days a week". That there girl done sung her bodonkadonk off! I felt like I was sitting on some bailed hay at an amphitheatre in Lubbock. All I need is drum stick. No? Okay, it was "fine." She can sing Podunk. It just felt wrong and a bit too fast. Actually, on a totally different plane, it could have been one of those Japanese manga cartoon dance song video games. Paula said: "I didn't get it." We share a brain! Simon and I. I wrote the above, BEFORE he said: "ghastly country fair"

David Archuleta sang "We can work it out". Awe. He was nervous. His neck was fierce. Did he forget lyrics? Poor thing. He will get the pity granny and tween-pantie vote now. No worries. I feel bad for him. At least he has big hands.

Did anyone else notice the gnats circling the contestants hair during the video/bio reels?

And I'm spent. GO BIG BABY. GO BIG. I'm going to mask my face, have an internal debate about eating more Peanut M&M's and then fall asleep listening to 93.9. We can't all be glamorous. Somebody has to be really, really unoriginal to make everyone else look good.

This is she.