Thursday, May 1, 2008

Radar 100 reasons you can't sleep.

It's May! I feel all blossoming and excited with bees and birds, sunshine and possibility. Don't you? My boys from RADAR Magazine have delivered again. This month Scott Jacobson, Todd Levin, Jason Roeder, Mike Sacks, and Ted Travelstead have given us: "100 Reasons you can't sleep."

A few of my favorites:

4. Larry King won't stop snoring.

10. Some woman keeps having sex with you

11. Mistakenly set white noise machine to "panicked cattle at slaughterhouse."

20. Discovered the Magic Fingers bed you've been enjoying has never actually been plugged in.

33. Reoccurring nightmares about Sting and his lute.

40. The dream-catcher above your bed is on the fritz.

45. Your floor plan: living room, LaGuardia runway, bedroom.

53. Shouldn't have eaten that last bowl of deep-fried duck embryos from Chinatown.

54. Magic Eightball keeps requesting you "ask again later."

69. You just had to take the voodoo priests parking spot didn't you?

77. Your man didn't love you right.

94. Suddenly realized you choose the path most traveled.

99. Still haunted by Prince of Tides.

I myself haven't been sleeping well lately. I will have to re-evaluate the severity of my reasons in relation to the above. Mostly, I'm just trying to think of words I like more than "Serendipity." My thoughts on this list.

1.) I need more options on my white-noise machine.

2.) I loved Prince of Tides!

3.) I've got some soul-seeking to do with an eight-ball.

For the full list and more CLICK HERE

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