Friday, August 22, 2008

Need a quick laugh? Dating, mating and what not to say.

I have been talking to a lot of single friends lately and although I am often envious of the free-time, the luxury of boredom and the endless possibilities that await every encounter ( getting on a plane, a new party, a chance meeting at a BBQ) I can't help but feel a tiny bit of relief from not having think of witty ways to answer good (or bad) lines.

Humor trumps almost everything in my book. I have dated a few fuglies simply by wearing my "he makes me laugh-goggles". So I have an appreciation for men who can jest at the circus of one-liners, opening a conversation with a stranger, and forced awkwardness of the dating world. RADAR 100 writers: Todd Levin, Jason Roeder, Mike Sacks, Ted Travelstead wrote this ages ago, but it still makes me laugh out loud. I hope it does for you too..

From Radar magazine...100 ICEBREAKERS TO AVOID :

A few of my favorites.

2. "You're not going to believe how many pig anuses the average hot dog contains."

9. "I can see you're not one of those 'shallow' people who's super-concerned about appearance."

22. "Were those earrings given to you by a pimp because you're his favorite baby doll?"

39. "Man! Why won't this DJ play some George Thorogood already?"

49. "Binaca blast?"

57. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again: 'The more you Mace me, the harder I love."

98. [Laughing nervously.] "You're just going to talk to me until someone better comes along, aren't you?"

99. "You know what would be fun? Trust falls."

73. "I think it's so cool that you're black."

It's Friday, the weekend before the "last weekend of summer". Enjoy it. Say something silly. Make someone laugh. Kiss with passion. Love with ferver.

I will be over here in my complacent relationship corner cheering you on with mild apathy and a little bit of jealousy.


dadshouse said...

Too funny! I love the pimp earring one.

One time at a bar full of men, there were these two absolute hotties sitting at a table and no one was talking to them. WTF? I guess everyone was drinking their courage dose of booze, or trying to come up with a witty one-liner!. I walked straight over and let out a great one:

What are you drinking?

I know, it's about the dumbest thing you can say. But guess what? They were thrilled to have a guy talk to them. All of a sudden, every other guy in the place turned into a shark, swarming around, trying to elbow in for some of the action. But I was their hero! Turns out one of them was totally into Ken Wilber, and I had just finished reading his book "Brief History of Everything", so she and I hit it off on more than just her looks, which was nice. Got her number, too!

T said...

Ha ha! Those are great. The funniest ones are when they comment on something unexpected. For instance, I've had a man compliment me on my feet and one guy chased me down outside the grocery store once just to tell me that he liked my eyebrows!

Love the pick up lines. Good stuff there!

Marcus Robmeadson said...
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