Tuesday, December 18, 2007

10 questions people ask but don't want answers to

1.) How are you?
2.) Do you want to go?
3.) Am I bothering you?
4.) Do I look fat in this?
5.) Can I make a suggestion?
6.) Did he/she look good? ( when referring to an ex-sighting)
7.) Can I ask you a question?
8.) Do you have a minute?
9.) Would you mind?
10.) Are you mad at me?

Good answers I suggest:

1.) Terrible most days, but surviving with wine, good friendship and avoidance.
2.) No way. I'm lazy. You go.
3.) Yes. Most of the time, with most of the things you do.
4.) Not really fat, but kind-of.
5.) No suggestions unsolicited. Seriously, that's what moms are for.
6.) He/She looked unhappy.
7.) Depends. Can you tell me its pertinence to this moment, and how long it will take to answer?
8.) I have tons of them, but I like to strategically use them.
9.) I usually don't. I'm helpful, but I reserve the right to be annoyed by it all later.
10.) I'm usually not. But if you ask me two more times, my answer will change.

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