Thursday, December 6, 2007

20 ways to get a lay from Lulu:

Since no one cares, and general demand shows to be single-sourced these days.(statistically speaking). I thought I would throw this out there as a fun exercise to reminisces about my singledom: 20 ways to get laid by Lulu. ( past tense, theoretically).

1. Smell good
2.. Make me laugh
3. Shower me with random, but poignant compliments at the very perfect moment
4. Make me wonder if you like me. Challenge my beliefs or behavior, so I feel that you aren’t scared of me.
5. Be supportive, non-judgmental, but call a spade a spade. I can fool too many people to fall for a clown or an audience member
6. Be somewhat aloof so when you pull back the curtain it’s especially meaningful.
7. Be manly
8. Know your music and movies.
9. Have a childish ability to tease and be teased ( na ne na ne poo poo)
10. Have power and/or money (hard to break the pattern of expectation)
11. Inspire me to be everything.
12. Don’t be easily taken for a ride on my emotions with me.
13. Be thoughtful and deliberate, but randomly
14. Be naughty and uninhibited in the bedroom....
15. Don’t play games with silence to see me squirm in your non-response. Manipulative restraint is something I respect (b/c it hurts) but don’t admire.
16. Don’t have a saggy ass.
17. Age well. I do.
18. Know when to walk away from one of my spontaneous tirades.
19. Find great and extreme pleasure in the little things.
20. Put me on the minx-kitten pedestal until death, even when I’m saggy and wrinkly grey/brown.

I'm not asking too much am I?


NYC Sam said...

If only all girls administered exams like this. I liken it to applying for a preferred shopper card. Or an employment application.

I scored 90%. That's good enough for a gold star, but also worth your stern admonishment to try better next time.

You are charmingly alluring, and coyingly cute. That's enough for me. Does anyone really have to work that much harder for your approval?

Blog on Lulu!

Lulu said...

"nyc sam" sounds a little like a stalker..That's what I get for posting instructions as such for humor(mine mostly)... makes a girl wanna take her pictre off the blog.

Do you know a guy named Edwin?