In fairness to the world. I AM really annoying too:

- I write/type ALL the time.

- I walk so fast that my 2 year-old actually thinks jogging is a normal way of pedestrian transportation.

- I dodge compliments like the plague. How about:"the archaeologist of self-deprecating negativity" ( has a cute ring to it, and sounds smart n' shite)

- I ask my husband shock-value incoherent questions that are completely out of context as if it were truly up for debate (and normal). It's free comedy/amusement. IE: "If I put your balls on a slab and hit them with a mallet would they implode or explode? Balls implode, I think..... Balls implode. Right?"

-I call people with a few points to make, and then actually leave the message with numerical order: "Three things Rebecca: One, I got the cd. Two, Did you watch 30 Rock?. Three: I got a signed picture from Owen Wilson. Too funny. That's it. Bye."

-I fast forward through heavy-hearted women sharing their lives on Oprah. ( I couldn't stand the chick talking about her 39th "Eat Pray Love" party. More on this later...

-I eat potato chips on my sandwiches, always. Every time. "No crunch. No lunch"

That's enough for today. I am annoying.