Friday, December 7, 2007

Don't ask? I do!

"Don't ask questions you don't want answers to."

I have heard this phrase in a few prettier ways, but the gist is the same. Tom Cruise said one of it's iterations in a courtroom to Jack Nicholson. So, It's not new. It's not ground-breaking, but it was breaking my concentration.

During my much needed pre-yoga meditation, it kept bouncing towards me like bright red words on pogo sticks. "Let go. Stop thinking." I would advise myself. Then they would burst into nothing and I was alone with my breath, good intentions and stillness again. Minutes later,this idea was floating (un)subtly by my mind's eye like the "met life" blimp. It said:"yourlife?" (of course it did.)

"Breathe. Detach. Tranquility begets happy." I say to myself and try again to refocus. Until finally, I decide to let a failed meditation attempt end in well-wishing and good thoughts being sent out to all those people I care about. Some of you might even read this and think: "hm. that's what that warm fuzzy was".

There is a point where I give up on me, and decide that my concentrated full mind/body awareness needs to go somewhere. So I direct it like a light through a prism out to every possible person I love, giving each one attention by name. This way, I can feel like something was accomplished. Some people pray. I just think hard on sending whatever emotion, thought or gesture would improve your life. Same thing? Maybe. I don't debate it.

I do, however, debate the validity of that phrase. I DO ask questions I don't (think) I want answers to! If I only asked questions that ended in my pleasure or insecurity debunked; what have I learned? How can I re asses myself and find a better way? Bingo. I can't. How about, something that sounds a little less like a threat and a little more like a nibble at the cake of "living fully"?

Sometimes the little answers we don't have; point to the big one's we do.

Sit with it. ( If it doesn't go well for you, send me some warm fuzzies.)

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