Why do you DO that?!

I read something that stayed with me today.

"Do what you will, but NOT because you must." -Koan

I love it! I love the permissive nature in it. Something about it begs me to test the water, allow myself the indulgence, but then questions my intention. All of that in under ten words! A calm yearning to be better(maybe), but also to be confident in what you are now.

Just for the exercise of it, I am going to question (internally-for the sake of those around me...God that would be irking) my reason for doing everything for the remainder of the day. Just to stay aware. To see if "I must." It might seem trite, or fantastically wasteful of my (otherwise very obsessively forlorn) thoughts. Examples:

Question. 1. Why watch TV?
Answer 1. To block out a days worth of crazy-thoughts, guilt and worry.

Question 2. Why blog?
Answer 2. Better out than in, I say.

Question 3. Why question my intentions of everything?
Answer 3. Good question. Why question that I'm questioning?

And so on...

( Circus music starts...)

Ever notice how you don't seem quite as koo-koo until you play a thought out and commit it to paper? Hmmm...I need to revisit Answer 2.

Wait? What if you must swim or die. Do you die? ( I dont think so). Damnit. Koan was wrong.