Thursday, December 20, 2007

Wistful, Wasteful or Wonderful ?

I remember when Christmas was some type of relationship barometer. Will I met my partners parents? Will I get an expensive or thoughtful gift? I would bounce around in the energy of love and sharing and giving and general enchantment. I don't have that now. Now, there are bills, and shopping lists, and decorations, and travel plans, and Christmas cards, and address labels, and Christmas bonuses for everyone that helps make "the machine" roll. I have to believe most of my stress relates directly to my last-minute approach to everything.

But then I get struck by memories. Thoughts about people from the past, people from the present, distant relatives, old friends. There is something ingrained in us. Some sort of expectation about the holidays that creeps up and reminds us to think fondly of the people we love and and have loved. It hits randomly and without warning. In the car, I might remember running around with my cousins in the snow and staying up late drinking cider and playing "quarters" on Christmas eve. I can recount exact holiday dates, and date movies: "Serendipity", or "Lord of the Rings" (ugh), "Cast Away"? Really?

I then, categorically start berating myself for being selfish enough to complain about anything at all. Who am I to bitch? I have a beautiful, healthy, smart little girl, a home, fresh food, a good husband, a great group of friends, and I start to stress about how I should be focusing more towards the greater good of humans, of life, or family. How people all over the world have nothing. Children in Africa are fighting for shoes to cover their feet, soldiers are fighting a war they can't define, long-term illness is taking lives by the minute. I am a bourgeois suburban pig. ( Wasteful)

What if instead we tried to keep it simple. Be good. Give Love. Spend Time. I think if I were to follow these three little motto's. It could be a meaningful holiday. If I try (with every agro-stressed-spread-thin fiber of my being) to be generally good to everyone. Be in a good mood, let things slide. Maybe if I worried less about what people will think, and just love with all my heart, share love, express it and exude it. I bet if I commit ( and I hate doing that) to spending uninterrupted time with people I love, the rest will sort out. This is my holiday wish. ( Wonderful)

Even if it only last as long as it took to write this....The intent is there, perhaps the execution will follow. So today, no matter how you feel, no matter if you are wistful, admittedly wasteful, or already wonderful, try it anyway. What can you lose?

Be good. Give love. Spend time.

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