Thursday, February 28, 2008

Leap into this SPRING ( stupid word pun, sorry)

Here we are. It is February 28th. Normally, that would be the last day of god-awful nasty wintery months. ( in places other than Chicago). But we get an extra day. A leap year day to let this month linger. What will you do with it?

I figure that March is the month right in the middle. People want to try and take note of all the things they didnt achieve since the new year. Women start to panic about their bodies, so magazines start the full throttle guilt and accosting of diets, and "5 lbs off in 5 weeks" and "bikini ready by May". So here we go. What will I do with my leap year extra day to better prepare for the month of basketball, spring-breaks and almost almost almost time to get excited about the perky blossoming of life returning to the center of this nation.

I will:

- Clean out the closet of ex boyfriend's numbers/emails I haven't used in a year.

- Do toe-crunches so my feet can look sexy in sandals.

- Set up tons of charitable things to do on 2/29 next year. (reoccuring) Copy people.

- Buy something bold colored and floral, like a spandex high-v unitard. I can do it. Watch.

- Oversell my positive outlook on spring, and then under-deliver .

- Read a few pages of some depressing book so I can say that "I started it"

- Hug everyone that speaks more than 10 words to me, for the sake of random awkward touches.

- Fill out a "March Madness pool" right now, so I can say I'm psychic.

- Do anything that other people have given up for lent, because it's like a "gimme" day.

- Re-watch "Margot at the Wedding" and not feel funny when she is face down, masturbating.

- Kick my husband in the nuts next time he lays a tea-bag on my legs. (s'ok, it happens)

- Interpret everything someone says as a total compliment, and say: "Oh..Thank you, you too."

- Meditate for REAL this time, no more of this "sending love and light" crap to OTHER people for thirty minutes. HEHSUS.

Go be grateful for the extra day. Make big things happen....I know I will.

No comments: