Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Oh Paula....American Idol Top 10 Males.

Tonight was a good American Idol night.

It started with Michael Johns singing Fleet wood Mac. ( Nice). Then...I think Jason Castro did well, like Cruise-ship well. But well. Luke still scares me. He is a Tone-ranger. Yikes. Danny Noriega coined "ish" when asked if he agreed with Simon.

Can we all just take a minute to recognize that David Hernandez KILLED it. Whaaaaaa? How did I not notice him last week? Chikezie actually did well too. The perfectly-planned ending cherry on top topper was the tween and grandma vote...David Archuleta. Chill inducing. The best though, was when Paula Abdul said: "I just want to squeeze your head off and hang you on my rear-view mirror". Now that is funny. Paula gave us a good example of when well-meaning compliments can go awry. Let me take a few stabs here:

NOTE: You must say these with a monotone, low voice:

-"I want to bite the back of your neck and carry you around like a kitten."

-"You are so hot I want to make out with your perfect little face and then stow you away inconspicuously,in my middle drawer with the other toys under the white, v-neck t shirts."

-"Your skin is so soft it makes me want to drop you into a long stone well with a basket and some lotion."

-"You smell so good, I want to eat your hair,you know, the way you eat cotton candy on a sweaty hot day at the carnival, twirling your tongue and licking your fingers, misleading the zipper ride operator into thinking I'm being lascivious and inviting his beer belly and denim shorts over to my bench."

Okay, enough of that. I'd better go watch the Democratic debate. Stay Classy San Francisco.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I have such a crush on David H. He is hot! Like Adam Rodriguez's (CSI: Miami) little brother!

Anonymous said...

You smell so good. I wish I could keep you in the freezer like a pound of bacon. Just peel off strips of you, and fry you up in a pan...fill the house up with your sweet smell. On demand. Fry you up, and keep your excess essence in a jar, and let it sit on the counter. Maybe make some soap out of you later, and rub your goodness all over me.

Yikes. Too Silence OF The Lambs-ish.

Anonymous said...

You are hilarious. Since I only watch every other season of Idol you are my only link to it, and a perfect one at that.