Lulu's Thursday round-up: Cook,Cat,Crude and Bourgeois guilt...Nice.

There is so much going on today. I didn't sleep well (no surprise). I think it was a full moon, or it's hard to have this many words and conversations and thoughts elbowing and heel-stepping to the front of my mind, pulling on the insides of my brain. Really. So...needless to say: I am zingy today.

David Cook won American Idol. Sure. Swell. Super. More excitingly, Cat Deely will rebirth by 2nd girl-crush (Ellen was my first- but now she is getting married) tonight on Fox's "So you think you can Dance".

Oil prices are over $135. Al-Naimyi said it, pundits and experts said it months ago....one word: Speculation. S'ok. (well, not really, but..) My bet is the same crazy bastards driving up crude costs are sniffing out a way to make money on the next-big thing that might help the economy and footprint on earth...while lining their pockets so they can fly atomic jets to St. Tropez for the weekend. If no one else, blame your parents..why not?

Martin Kelly, 42. died on his doorstep yesterday leaving his pregnant wife, Natascha McElhon, known to me as "Hank Moody's exe on Californication" devastated. My condolences...42? That is insane. She gets prime meditation time from me today. (image, copyright, CP)

China's earthquake toll is above 50,000. Anderson Cooper and Erica Hill are no longer flirting. American Airlines is charging for checking bags, soon to charge for seat-belts, toilet paper and window-shade privileges AFTER you pay a nominal fee for thinking about flying with them.

I'm truly convinced the world is going to hell in a "Bag,borrow or steal" hand bag. Surely, in perfect ironical form, I will be sitting on my couch, knees tucked to the side, sipping wine, with an afghan on while I watch a TV dance show the very instant the world obliterates...Great. Well done Lulu.....the only thing worse, would be jammin' in your car to N-sync or polishing your silver.

What will you be doing? I have got to figure out how to heal degenerative disease with something random like fabreeze and motor oil. Wait, not oil...tooth paste and sticky tack! Or deep dive into the decomposing waters of disaster zones, or come up with the latest green initiative that will help turn this boat around.


Sigh. Can you tell I am as predictable as a Woody Allen sentence right now? Today is going to be wacky. Hang on to your britches, I am shooting 10 different colors, in 20 different directions...

TAKE COVER!