Sunday, June 15, 2008

GOLF: Whispered Double Entendres in the US OPEN 2008.

I enjoy golf. Playing, watching, dressing for it. The only thing I cannot stand is the sound of the announcers whispering. (I hate whispers in any circumstance...truly).

Is it me? Or does this shot of Rocco look a little contemplatively effeminate? Especially compared to Tiger's fierce double-fist pump, chest out pelvis thrust...just saying...

The best way to enjoy the US OPEN was to giggle like a school girl at the double entendres. It also helped that Tiger Woods nailed his last three shots Saturday night, and then in the clutch sank the 18th putt Sunday, to push to a play off with Rocco Mediate. Here are a few:

NOTE: ALL of the below must be whispered by a deep-voiced man and with strange muted-excitement.


1. "Well...It's Tiger's balls....they aren't going to wiggle back out" (no joke. Rewind that TiVo...he said it.)


2. "He might just circle the lip there....he did. He got the lip."



3. "Wow, Bill...I think he has the wood in is hand, he is going for it."



4. "He wants to go in straight, but that hook gets him caught up in the bush every time..."


(keep whispering)


5. "It looks, It looks....like he is going to just tap it....just a lit-tle...TAP and IT"S IN Bob!"


6. "You know Steve, I personally prefer, a fast short-cut green, to the deep ruff....I think most guys do."


7. "Uppppppe.... Yeah, I was afraid of that.....THAT ball is gettin' wet."


8. "You know Mike...It is NOT easy to drive your ball down a fairway that tight."


9. "This is a scary hole Tom, I don't know anybody that hasn't buried it in that trap."


10. From the crowd (not whispered) "GET IN THE HOLE!"


Oh dirty dirty. Go Tiger. Happy Father's day. I love Eric Bana....in a dirty way. What?

1 comment:

dadshouse said...

Thank you for providing some much-needed amusement for my morning.

And if you ever come across a threesome, I think it's entirely appropriate to yell "Four!"