Thursday, February 10, 2011

Tips for you Rep. Christopher Lee lovers...wannabes:

Alrighty cheaters, listen up! I know my time would be better served watching CNN right now, as the fate of Egypt unfolds to the tune of Anderson Cooper's voice, but here I am instead...multi-tasking.

We all know that GOP Rep. Chris Lee loves ladies. We know that Republicans love his hair. We know that he is married, 46 years old and has a young son. More interestingly, he isn't so smart. (on many levels, but let's stick with horny stuff.) The "leggy" lady who received his photo, and within 6 hours of his sexy big fingers punching the "send" button, he was resigning. Think about that. You know when you get that tummy-drop and sweaty prickly feeling that the universe sends you to give you the heads up that you just did a DUMB DUMB thing? Yep. He does too. So some lessons to learn here:

1. DO NOT lie about your age. What is it with saying
39"? People like to avoid 40. 40 is grand and distinguished. The thing is, a girl finds out your lying about your age and she is immediately going to want to call you out. Send your bare hairless chest to Gawker...maybe not, but still. C'mon.

2. DO NOT show your flexing fist....'Nuff said. Dude? Really....and see point 1. No one is really in awe at those guns, or your sucked in tummy. Stop. Just stop.

3. DO NOT show your face. WHAT? (sigh) If you are married, have a child, and sending a sexy* picture out into the oblivion to a stranger. Take SOME precaution. Jeez, no one could figure out Favre's man-meat cause it was attached to nothing. TECHNICALLY, it was debatable. AND...too rotten for mass media to make viral.

4. DO NOT use a gmail account with your REAL NAME, that is also attached to your FACEBOOK account. This is getting painful. Honestly, my 5 year old already knows how to cover her tracks when she watches "Spongebob Squarepants"...she changes the channel twice (Disney, then PBS) so as not to be found out on the "LAST" button.

5. DO NOT jump ship so quick. I think if Spitzer would have been caught sending a topless picture and NOT humping a hooker, he would of laid it out straight like he does on CNN. Shit, Clinton would have laughed a little, patted the back of whomever was near him when he found out the pic leaked and said: "Aw, boys...looks like someone hacked my account and sent a picture I took for Hilary to the young, lost woman trying to make a buck." -That's genius.

The little leggy lady said it herself: "people cheat everyday, only the dumb ones get caught."
To take a look at Little Lee's pectorals and fists...take a gander and CLICK HERE.
Ponder this cautionary tale. Think harder, fluff and flex less and be smart.

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