Hanky "Banky" Paulson and Frank to save the free world?

Okay, Okay I admit it. I have become literally obsessed with the financial markets. It stems from my college days with a day-trading father and my measly "penny-stock" trading, but this should be fascinating to anyone.

Today is going to be a wild wild ride! Short sellers are temporarily banned (and being unfairly blamed for all the demise of wall street...come on? Who is regulating credit swaps? or piss-poor risk management at the top ranks of financial corporations!)Scape goats are nifty discretionary tools and I'm sure there are shaunky shorters, but generalizations make me crazy.

A very angry man walked into my home last night after his bank's stock(which happens to be "clean" and one of the best market caps in the industry) plummeted 43% by midday and then closed in the green. That my friends, is rumor mongering reaping rewards for someone....THAT is your problem. So..what now? Government guarantees on mutual funds and depository banks. SEC regulations and emergency rules. All l can say is these issues feel like that funny "Whac-a-mole" game at the arcades. You get a mallet and stare down about 5 holes, each one with a popping up mole head(aka new financial crisis issue). I picture Hank Paulson, Bernanke, Barney Frank and Nancy Pelosi all standing in a baseball outfielder's position with a mallet in hand.

On a day like this, when there are so many bad-mouthing angry journalists, and even more bitter bank employees wondering about their own destiny, it is only fitting to throw a monsoon of good vibe, peace, calm and loving serenity into the growing void of black thick-striped suits and stressed out pessimistic circles of the soul-searching money hungry masses. I have never heard more media members and pundits say: "This too shall pass." Even the most drone-like are getting philosophical in times like these. It's cute.

This weeks insanity requires more than a mere shimmy and kiss-blow. No, we need to pull in some hari Krishna's, burn some smudge sticks, have tantric sex in honor of settled consumer confidence and peace on a global level. We need smelling salts and Native American chants and collective meditation. Or....we could just sit back and see what the Fed finally lands on...that might be easier. Eh...errr....let's do that. I don't feel up for tantric anything right now.

Stay tuned. After this rant (which was steeping for days) I will get uber frivolous. We can talk about fall fashion colors like purple or whatever the feck Megan Fox thinks a woman should be able to say sexually, you know...the meat of life. Ha...I said meat. Hold on to your bespoke britches!

Love and closing options. Sex and short puts. Peace and government guaranteed mutual funds.

When the world is awry, why not wave the freak flag?

Here we go...Life is interesting lately. Russia just closed their markets due to the plummet of their stocks and exchange. AIG got a bridge loan bailout of 85 billion. DJ was down 340 at 10:30am. Obama is getting nailed for raising 9Million in Hollywood, yet McCain raised 5Million days before in Miami. The US embassy was bombed in Yemen. Britney Spears is releasing another album. Skinny Jeans are still being worn by men and Tom Brady isn't playing football. Which made me think of a good list....

10 Things I shouldn't admit, because they make me look really really bad (or crazy):

1.) The demise of Wall street is absolutely exciting and fascinating to me. Also known as schadenfreude. Every tidbit of bad news from wall street makes me giddy. I am glued to CNBC. I am in love with David Faber and literally triple clap when the market goes nuts. NOT b/c I want people to lose money, or the economy to tank...no, Its much more superficial and silly than that. I am heavily invested, with tons of exposure, I just have a need for chaos and my life is boring. I also believe in the next 2 years we will be booming. It CANT hurt for people to have to buckle down, be less exotic with their spending and be more aware of greed, poor judgement and excessive materialism.

2.) I actually love corny music, and whenever I need to feel warm and cozy I put on the stale and old music of 93.9 the Light, because it reminds me of youth and safety. Yep. Julianna Hatfield, Phil Collins, Steve Winwood...C'mon, sing it with me: "believe it or not...I'm walking on airrrrr" OR! "Life in a Northern townnnnnnn, Hey oh ma ma ma...." See? You love it too.

3.) I hate to floss, and sometimes...it doesn't happen as often as it should. There, I said it.

4.) I truly cringe at first time parents with rose-colored glasses. Everyone has the right to be eager and bright-eyed about parenthood, but its hard as nails and I have to bite my tongue not to unveil the litany of issues, losses and cluelessness their nativitie involves. I love being a mom, that goes without saying, but it ain't all nursing bliss and floating with a cherub child and happy spouse on a cloud of puppy dogs and sweet purposefullness.

5.) I love to say crazy things like:"I am against inter-racial relationships" to people. (since I am the spawn of one, the reactions are hilarious.) I really am NOT. Obviously...look at my husband.

6.) I daydream about putting things back where I didn't find them, just to confuse people. I also like to write illegible notes to my family and title them "IMPORTANT!".

7.) I shouldn't, but I can't help myself. I judge women on the shape of their eyebrow shape. I wont go into detail as not to offend, but my pet peeve-brow is uber-thin and highly curved with a round ball at the nose bridge end. Tbe pictured eyebrow is PERFECT to me.

8.) I truly find extreme pleasure in using obnoxious double entendres with a straight face in serious situations. Like: "Okay, You are giving it to me hard and fast, but let's step back and try to knock this out with a little more attention to detail."

9.) I dream of sex with all kinds of men, all the time. Mostly older men, mostly men on TV or in high end circles and some even have jowls...its nasty. I need to set some time aside to deal with that one.

10.) When my daughter was younger and would have big boogies, I found it exhilarating to pick them for her. The bigger the better. The stringier the more pride I had in clearing her passageway. It was a art, a competition. Me against the goo in her nose, and I always won...even if I worked at it way longer than some one should ever commit to nasal mucous. I even would show off the findings after retrieval. Oh yeah....I did it, and I will do it again if need be.

Judge away. Face it fellow freak flag hiders. You have a whole host of things you love too. I'm just hear to reveal myself to make you feel better about your weirdness, or to fill a nice little self-righteous void for ya. Take it. I send it with love, kindness and compassion.

Happy hump day.

Friday's little things: Dancing in the rain.

So the world is no stranger than it has been. Crude Oil dipped under $100/barrel, but it still costs me $78.00 to fill up my car in the suburbs. Lehman Bros needs some brotherly love our some strategic buyouts to stay a float. Matt Damon is cracking me up with his words on Palin like, "Do the actuariy tables..." (on the likelihood of a presidential expiration) or "I need to know, I do, does she really believe that dinasours were here 4000 years ago...I need to know....'Cause she's gonna have the nuclear codes." To see it, click Here. It is Absurd. What else? Ike is going to try an swallow Galveston. Governmental Oil agencies were riding the snow-train with hookers and other Sheik-like behaviors. Sheeeesh.

Today is gray and cloudy and damp. It was like many days. Make breakfast for the mini, dress for class, return all emails...etc. But this morning was peculiar and sideways. We had a lovely poop accident where my three year old grabbed a nugget off the floor with her bare hands. She then slide in the number 4-style, directly into a corner in our kitchen due to newly oiled wood floors and brand new ballet tights, and somehow we spent twenty minutes looking for my keys. Needless to say, I was a mother-beast of fury and rushing words like: "move it, love we're late!" and "walkah walkah walkah." (also can double for a 70's porn music imitation) and "Gooooooo!"

Yet, just as we stepped outside into the rain she stopped me and said: "Mama. Don't be mad. We can dance." Truer words have never been spoken at a more prudent time. Dance we did. I am now frizzy haired and much calmer. The wisdom and resilience of a three year old is priceless. So is this picture.

If nothing else today find your little thing. Dance in the rain. Kiss in the sun. Laugh until you spit-take. Hold hands. Dive roll into the living room. Call that girl/guy you want to see. Thank the people you love. Just take a minute to be fully aware of the beauty in things that make you feel good, free and without care. You deserve it. We all need it. The rest can wait for a single minute to make you crazy.

Happy Friday....I hope you dance.

Carole King kind of night....

Can we just erase that the Jonas brothers sang a cover? Stop the madness. Directions: Press "Play"....then read on.(pay no attention to the silly graphic and elusive hand working the needle.)



Tonight is one of those nights...a Carole King or Joni Mitchell kind of night. I often have random songs pop into my head. Perhaps the smell of peanut butter sparks a Don McLean's "Starry night" or the cold windchill in an evening that serves as a good reason to grab an afghan instead of close the window, and how "You're so far away" plays in circular rotation in my head.

I love that about music. The ability to transcend a mood, a memory a feeling, a person. This song, specifically makes me thing of persons from my past at random, with no attention to one over the other. I miss my father and think how far away his presence and voice is from me now in his death. I picture a goofy high school girlfriend dancing on our dorm beds with a sheer scarf wrapped around a fake microphone in slow motion. I reminisces about the sweet lingering sadness of missing someone over time, or oceans, or the minds distance that draws wake like lines in the water of our journey....rippling into moments like the ones I have tonight.

What a beautiful thing. To be thought of at random with no action, but to be thought of...because the air got cool, or the season changed. I find comfort in knowing, somewhere, someday I am a dancing image in the playback mirror of some one's mind. If not proven, its a fair guess of the numbers game.

Warm your heart to the likeness of memories that build and bridge loving kind feelings of a time past, a love lost, or a close friend with whom the intimacy or life has diminished. We are never alone, we are an amazing captured collaboration of all the tiny shades of the people we shared life with.

Grab a blanket, some chamomile tea, tuck your legs to the side, and smile within. You are thought of in the strangest smallest moments.... No matter how far away.

10 Reasons to love Fall.

Awwwww. (Deep breath, inhale-cool air). It is here. "September Morns" and Earth Wind and Fire songs. The school buses are spreading their stinky exhaust and little mini leaf swirls spin in the streets signaling a time of new beginnings. I have always reveled in the change of seasons. Fall represented a time of starting new for me. Every school year (as a child) I thought I could be someone different. Maybe this year I would be head cheerleader, or artsy, or just like one of the girls from "Heathers".

10 little Things I love about Fall:

1. Sharpening pencils and the Velcro sound of trapper-keepers. ( Do they still make those?)

2. Sleeping with the windows open and the warm snuggle under the covers in contrast to the fresh cool breeze, then waking up and getting "pumpkin spice" coffee, cupcakes,donuts, bread...at the Starbucks.

3. Um...Season Premieres and the beautiful anticipation of your favorite show coming on at night.

4. The first time you truly need to break out a sweater and the soft feel of it on your skin, or better yet...hugging someone you dig when they are wearing a cuddly sweater. (souky souky time comes from warm fuzzies)

5. Eating Chili with shredded cheese and Frito's while watching football!

6. Hot chocolate and S'mores in the backyard with a fire pit.

7. Everything and everyone is back in full-swing mode. I get crazy bored with the slowness and absentee energy of August.

8. Good cheesy soft rock sounds so much better in cool-weather. Elton John's "I guess that's why they call it the blues" or any Classic Rock/Folk music like Carole King's "So far away".

9. The crunch of leaves under your feet in the city brings up a whole host of movie memories like any movie with Meg Ryan in it....(When Harry met Sally, You've Got Mail. )

10. Not feeling guilty about wanting to lay horizontal on the couch with a blanket and warm tea, because its cold as hell out there, and laying here with a candle burning and quiet contentment in being still and grateful is productive enough...for now.

Palin Balin Bo-Balin...Banana Fanna..Fee Fi Fo..Hell No.

Wow. Has it almost been a week? I pinky swore a friend that I would post. I am back. Truly. The world has been rainy and I have been sick, and by God, there is too much to talk about NOT to throw my dribble on the pointless wall of this blog. Can I be obnoxious today? No, here goes.

I think I want to hear Sarah Palin come out to a podium to Katy Perry's "I kissed a girl" or Pink's new song called "So What?". It would be amusing, and I might actually laugh instead of shake in my boots. Seriously, the nomination of Sarah Palin has been a strange and intriguing event. I have had a muzzle on my always spewing mouth. It is complicated (what isn't?). I am offended that women are supposed to like her because she is a "hockey mom" or because she has five children, or a set of boobs and speaks with a "folksy" twang. Honestly....no thanks.

Now, I am the first to enjoy speaking "crazy" with people. Its a language that can be fun, entertaining and button-pushing. But she supports Pat Buchanan....(crickets). That is a dialect of crazy I can't even rationalize. She has been a life long member of the NRA. She doesn't support gay rights/marriage and a woman's right to choose. Allll done for me. Would it be neato to see a woman in office? Sure. Just not that one. Mostly, because I couldn't stand listening to her voice and I don't think her "pitbull/lipstick" comment will penetrate 3/4 of the world-a platform of people she would have to be able to engage.

Why is it that a woman has to come off as sarcastic and smug to be taken seriously? Why can't a woman carry grace and facts and strength without needing to seem catty and facetious? Oy-vey. I am a mother, I love hockey, I support a woman's privacy with her family and teenagers, yet I believe none of those things have any baring on the right to help run the most powerful country in the free world. Surprisingly, I am impressed by McCain on a human level. I am impressed by his wife's ageless face and incredible fashion sense (Gold Oscar Del a Renta?!), but his judgement with Palin is stiffeling.

It actually hurts that a woman is pushing boundaries and attempting to beat the odds of nay-sayers and doubters in my voting lifetime, and I cannot support her. Not on her X chromosome alone. There are issues too great. I spent too much time in women's studies classes to vote anyone (man or woman) into a place of power that ultimately disagrees with some core beliefs I hold. We'll see what happens. I will cringe at her ingenuine concern for women, and I will endure several future speeches where she takes low blows at Obama, because at the end of the day, I am fascinated that we are all tuned in, arguing, thinking things through and wanting our respective "change" to come to fruition.

One of the co-founders of the blog cluster I contribute to gave some insight last week. I will let her research lay before you here: Sarah Palin You Scare Me!

I will sit back, wait for the Biden/Palin debate, which I guarantee will light me up. Again, the double standard of women being taken seriously. Everyone is saying: "oh Biden will have to be very careful...not to be condescending" or "Biden will walk a tightrope". Bullshite. If she wants to run for office, and be taken as seriously as any HUMAN demanding the same respect, and proving the SKILL SET needed, than she should be treated as anyone. Is that not what women for decades have been fighting for? let's see her cleavage in Vogue! (sheesh) I will stop.

Happy Saturday!